Digital Nomad Dating 101: Find Your Soul Mate While Traveling

Tune in or read the blog version below!

 Hi my loves, welcome back to the Wanderlover podcast and coming to you from Rio de Janeiro, Brazil!

I am sharing it on this podcast first, with all of you guys listening that I have scheduled my c section date for the end of February. So the baby is going to come in a few weeks and it’s just insane to think that I will be a mother in just a few weeks time.

Frequently Asked Questions

During this huge, huge transitory period of my life, I’ve gotten so many questions about how Ragz and I are navigating, running our online businesses, traveling, exploring a new country, getting settled into a city we’ve never been to before and how we make it all work while preparing to be parents.

And even more commonly how we found each other and how we are on the same page about all of the crazy off the beaten path choices we take with our lives.

So this episode is going to be all about digital nomad dating because I do understand that if you live an untraditional life and if you choose to travel full time, dating can be hard.

I’ve gone through it. I’ve experienced it. And I’ve also been just surrounded by digital nomads for the past almost decade. So a lot of my friends have gone through the same process. They’re either dating or they’ve found their soulmates and life partners. So I really just want to dedicate this episode to those of you who may be struggling.

I want to start by sharing a quote that I don’t know even where I heard. It from but it just stuck with me and it makes so much sense. The quote goes:

People are like puzzle pieces and the older you get with the more experience you have, the more opinions that form, the more values you adopt, the more intricate and elaborate your own puzzle piece is.

So think of a puzzle piece when you are a teenager dating, like, it’s maybe just four sides. And the older you get, it becomes a more and more intricate puzzle piece. So the more elaborate your grooves and nooks and crannies are, It can be harder to find a perfect fit with another person, but I’m here to tell you that it is not impossible. If anything, it just means that you’ve really confirmed what is important to you.

You’ve adopted your own identity, and it’s easier to filter out who doesn’t fit with that. So although it can be more challenging with the right mindset and approach, it is absolutely so possible for you to meet your soulmate while exploring and traveling the world.

The Biggest Challenge

Let’s first start by addressing the elephant in the room, which is the main challenge of dating as a digital nomad. I mean, dating in itself can be hard, but dating as a digital nomad includes a new set of challenges.

It’s incredible that the path that you’ve chosen for yourself is far from conventional (and if you want to meet others doing the same, check out the Digital Nomad Society).

But if you are constantly working and juggling travel and work, meeting people from all over the world, from different backgrounds, with different passport and visa situations, et cetera, it can make dating tricky.

I would say a little bit trickier than if you were in one city, if you are based in one place because you kind of already have that location match with someone, but if you aren’t and people become transient, it can be hard to find someone who is on the same timeline as you.

Oftentimes I will see a lot of my friends go through long distance relationships because there’s just logistical challenges on where they are spending their time and what kinds of free time both parties have.

A lot of times they are dating people who come and go. If they are staying in a place where there’s a lot of travelers, you fall in love and then they end up having to go back home to their home country and so the timing doesn’t line up. And other times, you know, you might be in a more serious stage in your life where you’re looking for commitment.

And then someone else who you just meet, they have different priorities and maybe they don’t share your love for full time travel or they’re not an entrepreneur or whatever it is. It’s hard to gauge exactly how long they plan to stay for, how long your lives will cross for and whether or not they’re committed to the relationship.

So these are very, very common. And if you are going through the same, you are not alone. It might. feel that way if you don’t have a community of digital nomads who are going through the same, but know that they are very common. There are tons of people out there who have experienced the same and you are not alone.

You are not crazy. It’s not because of you. I’m going to kind of prescribe you a solution or multiple solutions.

Let’s Start With Mindset

Let’s jump into mindset because I feel like dating in general in this day and age with, so many apps and social media and whatever, people become disposable because there are so many options. So dating in itself is already quite difficult Even if you are based in one place or you live in a big city, it is difficult.

Now, let’s talk about what you think of dating as a digital nomad. Are you repeating to yourself ‘This sucks I’m never going to find someone who values the same things as me, who sees life in the same way. Who I can create content with…’ or a business or whatever you want out of life.

How are you viewing this process? Are you confident that you are going to find someone or are you kind of approaching every date?

With the mindset that it’s already destined to fail. Do you inherently carry the belief that it is so difficult? You’re never going to find someone. All men are pigs or all men just want to travel and no one wants to get serious. is what are the main beliefs you hold about dating as a digital nomad?

And the reason I ask this is because I do see so many similarities in terms of mindset between running a successful business and having a successful long term relationship.

Are you holding yourself back with limiting beliefs? Are you telling yourself that there’s something wrong? It’s never gonna work out and you’re kind of just self sabotaging from the start Similar to new entrepreneurs who are like starting a business is so hard. I can never do this There are so many other people out there who are better smarter and in the dating world It’s like there are other people who are prettier or whatever. What are the core beliefs and are they limiting you in any way?

I’ve mentioned this in my podcast episodes before when I was traveling full time, my mom really wanted me to settle down and find someone because she said it was impossible to find someone while I was traveling and I just knew deep down that there was No way I was gonna give up this lifestyle and someone would come along that way fit my criteria.

And lo and behold, that is what happened. But I approached it with so much confidence. I had unwavering faith. Had I doubted myself or doubted this path, I may have listened to my mom. I may have been like, okay, let me move back to New York and find someone and settle down. But that is definitely not what I wanted.

So instead, because I was so unwavering in my faith that I was going to find someone that could would travel full time with me, and if that is what you want, it really shifts how you approach people that enter your lives. First of all, you can filter them out instantly. You can kind of see what kind of person they are and whether or not they align because you are so firm in your values and what you are looking for.

I believe that If you do carry this approach, you are more authentic as well because you can be upfront about your lifestyle and intentions. So whether you’re looking for something casual in the meantime, or if you’re looking for something long term, you can be open and honest about it.

So after we have kind of shifted your mindset and prepared you for success by being open and honest about what you are calling into your life right now and what type of person you want, you need to go put yourself out there and meet like minded people.

Actually Commit To Meeting New People

Obviously there is no one size fits all solution to this. There are so many ways you can meet different people, but the more you put yourself out there and it’s. It’s ultimately like a numbers game.

As you are traveling, how many people do you need to meet in order for you to find one that fits? How do you do that? Well, nowadays, like Ragz and I matched on Tinder and there are just so many apps for you to connect with other people.

But if you do want to meet someone organically, I definitely just recommend immersing yourself in things that you truly enjoy. So if you are an entrepreneur, I definitely recommend signing up for coworking spaces or maybe co living situations. You can really get to know a lot of remote workers, digital nomads who share your outlook and mindset for travel and online business.

You can sign up for expat meetups or local events wherever you’re staying just to meet other people or travelers passing by and who knows, maybe you’re going to the same destination next.

Use Dating Apps

And obviously, if you are going to put yourself out there, I personally definitely recommend going on social media and using all of the apps.

I know it can be taboo and I have some friends who are like I definitely do not want to use these apps and although I do agree that people become so disposable and you’re not able to clearly communicate who you are Just via a profile It is just so powerful, right?

It’s kind of like the people who are like, I don’t want to use social media for my business. And it’s like, well, A, it’s free. B, it connects you with your ideal client, or in this case, your ideal partners.

And if you use it the right way, if you have the right filters on, if you know exactly who you’re looking for, why not get so many matches or potential matches delivered to your door every single day.

Overcome The Next Obstacle

After you go on some dates and after you meet some people, another common obstacle I see is after a few months, things start to get uncertain.

Either characteristics start to come up or life just happens where you’re not in the same place anymore. And this is where I see a lot of people kind of Breaking up or going separate ways.

I’m also going to just share very openly and honestly about what I’ve seen and tips for making it work and again this This comes from a place where I’ve dated so many people around the world in New York while I was traveling, etc.

And when I first matched with Ragz and gone on a few dates, we were doing long distance. So it wasn’t like perfect from the beginning. It wasn’t like he was also a digital nomad and we were already traveling together. It was like we needed to both put in the work in order to commit. So he was working a full time job in England.

He was on a surf trip in Bali. And I honestly thought I was never going to see him again. He had all of the values I was looking for in a partner, but logistically, as with many digital nomad dating stories, logistically, it is challenging. And how we made it through that period was first and foremost communication.

Communicate A LOT

So communicate very clearly what your expectations are and what your goals are from the beginning. I made it very clear that yes, I would go visit him. Yes, I was going to put in the effort and call him and make him as much a part of my life as he can be, but I also had one way flights booked around the world.

I was going on trips and my lifestyle was not going to stop. So I made it really clear that if you want to continue being with me, you need to make changes. In your life and that is something he knew from the beginning and I think over time after a few months, things just started shifting where one party has to question do I want to continue on my path or do I want to take another path?

Be Patient

The second thing after communicating all of this is to honestly be patient.

Many times, to be honest, I’ve seen people exit relationships kind of way too early. Once the lust of the first few months dies off, they start coming up with reasons and self sabotaging why it won’t work instead of putting in the time and building a relationship where you’re able to take things slower.

You don’t need to find a replacement immediately. You can honor the relationship by just giving it a few more weeks than you normally would. I know it is so easy in this day and age to kind of hop onto the next person, but the relationships that I’ve seen succeed, they all go through so many challenges and they overcome them together.

They don’t run away at the first sign of something not working. Which brings me to my next tip in any relationship.

What You Focus On Grows

If you are just starting to date someone or even if you’ve been together and you’re waiting for them to propose, whatever it is, whatever stage it is, you need to be focusing on what is going right and what your shared values are.

Similarly, how in life my mindset is focus on the positive, focus on what you are grateful for, focus on everything going right, because the law of attraction is going to bring more and more of that goodness to you.

Same thing with relationships. If you’re constantly focusing on why it’s not going to work, what’s wrong with them, reasons they give you the ick, you’re going to find more icks.

You’re going to find more things wrong about your partner, and that’s never where you want to be. So if you’re doing long distance like Ragz and I were, I was focusing on shared values, focusing on shared interests. It’s focusing on our future that we were going to build together.

And if you give it the time, the nurture, the flexibility, the patience and the love that all relationships need to thrive and survive. The chances of you committing to one person and that person reciprocating is going to be so much higher than if you are one foot in and one foot out from the beginning.

Like I said at the start of this episode, your puzzle piece might be super, super intricate, but if you’re just focusing on how it’s not going to match with anyone, You’re not going to match with anyone, but if you’re purposefully finding the parts of yourself that match with another person, it is an incredible opportunity as a digital nomad to connect with people who share your passion for life and adventure.

I promise you it is so worth it when you find that soulmate who compliments your lifestyle and pushes you to be the best version of yourself.

Final Thoughts

I believe in you. If you have any questions about this whole thing, I love chatting to people about experiences with dating and just being on the road and the excitement of it all.

So don’t hesitate to reach out on Instagram if you have any questions or if you would just like to vent or share your dating wins.

Thank you so much for tuning into this episode. If you really enjoyed it, I would love if you could take a screenshot and tag @thewanderlover and @thewanderloverpodcast. Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a review on Spotify and Apple Podcasts as well.

I will see you guys in the next episode – have an amazing week my loves!

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