Attracting Your Perfect Life Partner As a Nomad

Full time travel and dating don’t traditionally go together. But I knew that it was possible for me to find someone that also wanted to live my lifestyle and not compromise on the sacrifices I had already made to create my nomadic life. This is the behind the scenes, mindset tips and actions I made to manifest my perfect soul mate.

Prefer to read? Here’s the blog version…

I’m Engaged!

Oh my god, guys, guess what? I am officially engaged!

Ragz proposed on my 30th birthday, so I rang in a new decade as a fiancé and I am absolutely over the moon. It’s such a surreal feeling. Ragz and I have been together for over four years, but to hear him propose to have it be official to see the ring on my finger, it’s a feeling I’ve never experienced before and I feel so lucky and I am so grateful to have found my life partner. 

It happened in a way that was just incredibly aligned, and I called in this perfect match. Ragz did such a great job with the ring, I have a photo on my Instagram. I honestly cannot stop staring at it, it’s just so shiny and so beautiful. The whole thing was unexpected and I still feel like I’m trying to process what happened.

We’re currently in Innsbrook, Austria, and this whole plan after Ibiza to drive down through France, through Germany, down to Austria was just completely unplanned. I had no idea that he was going to propose to me while we were here, but yet, here we are, and here I am and I could not be happier.

It’s really funny because I got three sets of engagement nails before my current set thinking that he would propose before I went to Ibiza for my birthday, and I was just constantly doing my nails thinking that he would propose. And at this point I was like, oh, you know, we’re at a new location. He’s probably not gonna do it here, but let me just make sure my nails look nice. 

I’m just so happy it happened this way. Honestly, I am just celebrating all month. I am really channeling this energy and this excitement for this new decade today!

Dating As A Digital Nomad

In this episode, I really want to reflect back on the relationship, and also to kind of give you some pointers and tips if you’re looking for them as to how you can attract your perfect life partner, especially if you are a nomad. 

I know a lot of you listening, you have location independent businesses and the truth is dating when you are traveling full-time is challenging. Not everyone is experiencing what you are experiencing – this whole world is new, so you kind of have to navigate the dating scene a different way. 

Control What You Can Control

The point that I want to share first and foremost is that life is unexpected and unpredictable and you cannot control other people. But what I found to be true over and over again is you can only control what you can control. If you focus on what you can control, and you are intentional with the things that you want, and you take the actions to support those intentions, you’d be so surprised at how things go your way and how life can play out in just bigger and better ways than you can imagine.

My twenties were amazing and in my last episode I was literally calling in an even better decade, and a few days later I experienced one of the best days of my life so far. I still tear up saying that because I just always think that there is something bigger and better out there for you. 

The universe wants you to have what you want.

The law of attraction states like attracts like, and you are able to live in the path of least resistance. You don’t need to struggle. The universe is working with you, but you cannot be sending mixed messages. This is what I choose to believe and this is what has served me to create this beautiful life that is just so perfect. 

That is what I have trained myself to believe.

I come from an immigrant family, I was born in Beijing and my parents immigrated when I was two years old. I grew up with a an immigrant mentality. I grew up thinking I had to save every penny that I needed to struggle in order to live a good life. In Chinese, we literally have this term called “chi ku”, and it’s like a glorified way of suffering because literally it means you are eating bitterness. You WANT to eat bitterness because you think you will reap more rewards, and it trains you to almost feel guilty when your life is going too well or when it is too easy.

What I am telling you is that you do not have to believe the recurring thoughts or the beliefs that you grew up with. You are able to change your thoughts if you want a different outcome. So if you’re not happy with the way things are working out right now, if you’re listening to this episode seeking answers, I encourage you to first be super honest with yourself:

Full disclaimer, I am not a relationship coach. I am purely saying from experience and from the many, many conversations I’ve had with many, many of my friends, males and females, giving relationship advice, seeing a lot of trends, patterns from big cities to little towns, a lot of patterns that I see over and over also from my business experience and life experience from my research. This is what I can say for myself and this is what has gotten me the results, and I really want to share them with all of you. 

Be Clear On What You Want

Going back to what I said about the Universe wants you to have whatever it is that you want, but you cannot send mixed messages. The first step for you right now is to vision board exactly what it is that you want in your life. We do this for your business, and this is also applicable to your partner, to your relationships, to your hobbies. Have a vision board because this is where you claim what exactly you want, not what anyone else in your life wants, and not what anyone else in your life wants for you. 

Claim what it is that you want and be honest with yourself. On my vision board and passion planner, years ago, before I met Ragz, when I was ready to have a relationship, I wanted to be in a relationship and I made that super clear on my vision board and in my passion planner. I also made a list of characteristics: every single characteristic I wanted in my future partner and every single characteristic I didn’t want in a partner. 

I had just broken up with my ex-boyfriend of years. We were living together and I took a break from dating. I worked on myself, I really wanted to heal. When I felt ready to move on, that is when I made the list. So if you’re at a place where you feel like healing is a first priority, I would not recommend this exercise. But if you are ready to be in a relationship, and you are unapologetic about it, and that is what you want to call in, then this is the PERFECT first exercise for you. 

So coming out of my toxic relationship, I could really reflect and be like, I did not like the fact that none of my friends liked him, or he didn’t even make an effort to like any of my friends. That became a non-negotiable because it was just horrible. I also didn’t like the fact that he was super controlling. He limited the amount of time I could see other people and all of these things that I just turned a blind eye to was suddenly a hard no for me.

The craziest thing is, I don’t even know if I’ve said this on the podcast before, but my ex, after a few times traveling together, decided he hated traveling and we could not vacation or travel to anywhere out outside of a four hour radius from New York because he hated long flights. And I was like, okay, let me try making this work. So I literally like drew a radius around New York and was like, where can we go within this circle?

At that point I was like trying so hard to make it work, but now I’m like, I cannot believe that was even a question in my life! So obviously as soon as we broke up, I was like, I am going to Australia. I am going as far as I can go.

Of course when I started vision boarding what I wanted to call in, it was a partner who loved to travel as much as I do. 

Someone who was so caring, so selfless, someone who loved adventures, loved surfing as much as I do, who wanted to travel the world, who would support all of my crazy ideas and all of these characteristics I wrote down. There was no ifs. There was no question about what it is that I wanted. I was so certain you need to get to a point where you won’t take no for an answer. It’s like I’m not going to lower my standards. 

I’m not going to give away a part of myself anymore. This is how I want my next relationship to be, and it is the filter that I am going to use. Having this filter makes it so much easier for you to judge who is worthy of your time, who is worthy of a second date, who is worthy of your energy and who isn’t.

When I was going through this, my mom sat me down and was like, you are crazy if you want a partner. You should settle down because no one can match the speed at which you live your life. It’s probably going to be so hard for you to find someone because you’re constantly on the move.

That’s when I was like, I know my perfect match is out there. I am not going to let your doubts or your prior experiences or your views on the world change what it is that I want from my life. I was so certain and there was no holding back. No one could talk me out of it.

This is kind of the tunnel vision I get when I set business goals for myself, when I quit my job, when I went from corporate to full-time traveler. That’s exactly what I knew I wanted. 

You can listen to my other episodes on how you can find that for yourself and how you can basically attract pieces and aspects of other people’s businesses and lives into your own. Being this way and thinking this way takes a lot of inner confidence in knowing that what you want might be non-traditional, but it’s going to work out and it always works out.

Even when my mom said that to me, instead of listening to her because she’s my mom, I’ve just experienced so many situations rebelling while growing up where I knew that although she might have the best intentions, it’s not always the one way, right? 

If you are faced with self-doubt and confidence issues, do the inner work first. Replace those thoughts of not being good enough, replace those thoughts of, oh, maybe I need to sacrifice some parts of my ideal man in order to attract a person into my life. Maybe you have to replace thoughts of, I’ve seen my parents fight and argue, so I need to appease my partner, or I need to mimic the exact relationship my parents have. 

Whatever it is that you are believing, if it’s not bringing you the results that you want, it’s time to revisit those beliefs. It’s time to focus on working on yourself, so that you can bring the highest version of yourself to the table and to the dating pool. 

Being Confident In Yourself When Dating

A year after I broke up with my ex-boyfriend, moved out, moved away from New York City, I was back in the dating pool and I knew that I wanted a relationship which meant that my potential dates and potential partner would have to meet all of the criteria that I had set out.

Every single one of my actions supported my intentions of wanting a relationship and claiming the partner. This meant that I went out on dates, I surrounded myself with people who were single so that I could meet new people and be open to meeting new people and finding a partner. Because most likely it’s not gonna be someone you know, you have to be open to being introduced to people or going on dating apps.

You need to take different actions, so those were the different actions that I took. And then I only took advice from my friends who were in relationships. 

So this goes hand in hand with having mentors who have done what you are trying to do, listening to people who are at a place where you want to be. This was similar to how I worked in a corporate job, but I only took advice from people who were digital nomads or entrepreneurs. I didn’t listen to my parents, I didn’t listen to my coworkers. So if you are trying to meet people, go out with people who are also trying to meet people, but when you want relationship advice and what to do next, consult those people in relationships. 

This has been so helpful because so many times I’ll text like my single friends and my friends and relationships about a guy and I’m like, he did this to me, what should I do? And my single friends are like, oh, like just go on another date, give him another chance. And my friends and relationships are like “hard no, if my partner did this to me, I would literally kick them out.” So that’s how your position can affect the advice you give. So obviously listen to the people who are successful in this area. It’s not from a place of ill intention, it’s just trying to give advice from a place where they don’t have the best experience.

Once you have all of these tools underneath you, you have this mindset going in that you want a relationship, you need to hold yourself to it. Which means if someone comes your way and they don’t meet those criteria, you have the power to say no. You have the power to stop seeing them. You have the power to let them stop treating you a certain way by acting up, speaking up or doing something to hold your intentions and your desires front and center.

It’s kind of like the universe testing you in a way. Like here you go here, something on a scale of one to 10 that maybe is a 5, will you take it? Do you have the confidence to say no? Do you have the faith that there is something better? And when you say no, a six will come along and then you’re like, hmm, do I settle? 

But eventually you’re going to get that 10. You’re gonna be ready to take that 10 and the timing will align. And this is what I mean by taking the actions that follow whatever it is that you want.

I see so many people who claim that they are dating or they want a relationship, but their actions do not support that. They will intentionally go on dates with people who are clearly not a good fit for them, but they’re just trying so hard to make it work. They’re going on dates with people who don’t respect them, who are toxic. With so many red flags and if, you can’t see that for yourself, you’re not going to find that perfect match. Even if it is a match, it’s probably over time going to either result in heartbreak or in trauma.

I tried this once before and I learned from my mistakes when I knew I was ready to date again, I was committed. I was committed to finding my partner. I was not committed to just finding hookups or finding someone to pass the time with. I was looking for a life partner. It was so easy for me to say no to the people who did not fit that criteria, who did not treat me the way I wanted to be treated, who didn’t make me feel the way I wanted to feel while dating and in relationships. I had no patience, absolutely no patience anymore for anyone who said that they were not ready for a relationship, who were unsure about relationships. 

It was a hard no until I met Ragz and he showed a level of commitment that I had never experienced before. He showed a level of authenticity and care and humor that were just such perfect fits for what I was trying to call in. He surfed, he was adventurous, he loved traveling. He had lived in so many different countries before. 

At that time what was interesting was that he was in construction, so he had a full-time job in England and I was in Bali. We did long distance for a few months, but I always knew that he wanted to leave and that is what he voiced. He also had his creative agency on the side, which immediately I was like, you could do that full-time. You don’t need to be working two jobs, especially if, you aren’t lit up by your full-time construction job, right?

So I saw the possibility, and I put in the work. I had flown to England twice over the course of a few months just to visit him. And when I booked a one-way flight to Argentina, he quit his job. This was eight months after we met. He quit his job and committed to his creative agency full-time and we started traveling the world together. So he also took those actions to align with the life that he wanted. He wanted to travel more.

He wanted to go see the world with me, so he did it. 

Honor Your Desires In Your Actions

It is time for you to ask yourself, what is it that you are telling the universe that you want? And do your actions support that statement? What is it that you might be one foot in, one foot out on? Are you holding a part of yourself back because you’ve been hurt before? Are you going on dates and saying you’re looking for a relationship when in reality you actually really love being single or you wanna take time out for yourself and just to heal? 

What is it that you want and what are the actions that you can do to support that full reality? Once you can do that, the actions will follow. Whether it be surrounding yourself with like-minded people or meeting the people who will get you to that next step, it will all come your way because there’s no messing around, there’s no guessing games. It’s just out there, front and center. 

A few of my friends have commented, they were like, “oh my god, I know this ring that you have on your finger is what you wanted”. For years, I had it on my vision board. Everyone knew the ring that I wanted. Ragz knew the exact ring that I wanted, so there were no surprises. And lo and behold, I like look at this ring on my finger and the one that was on my vision board, and it is identical. Plus even better because underneath there’s a hidden halo, which I think is just super special because it’s this added touch that kind of like only I can see and I know it’s there, so it can always, always get better. 

If, you are a digital nomad and you are looking for your partner, they are out there. Many people actually message me being like, you know, I want to travel, but my partner doesn’t. What do I do? In that case, this is where the exercise come into play. Again, what is more important and what do you value? Do you value a partner that will support you through the thick and thin? Who will let you go travel? Or are you willing to settle down in order to make your partner happy? Because I don’t know, family is more important.

So if that is what you choose, then follow through with the actions, right? Commit. But If, you want a partner that will travel the world with you and your current partner doesn’t, then it might be time to break up because it’s just too different. 

Dating When Traveling

Now, if you are traveling and you want to call in that you want to date, you want to bring in someone into your life who loves traveling and adventure is the same as you do, then go out and meet new people! Do not be afraid to open yourself up to say yes to going to bars, even if you’re not a bar person, to going to retreats, even if you’re not a retreat person.

Meet as many people as you can!

Go volunteer, find hobbies, work on your yourself, meet people, and the chances of you connecting with someone else will be a lot higher than if you are just keeping to yourself, waiting for someone to pop in. Which might happen, right? — And I really hope that for you, if that is what you want.

But your chances, it’s a numbers game, your chances are going to be higher with the more people and connections you make.

Do NOT settle. Settling is the worst thing you can do because over time your true colors are going to show, and it’s impossible to hide them for a lifetime. 

You do NOT want to do that. I want you to thrive in every way, and I want your partner to do the same. And it is completely possible to find an aligned match. Your perfect soulmate.

If you want to talk this out, feel free to DM me at any time. Tell me exactly what it is that you want to call in and tell me the actions that you are doing to support that. You can type it out to me in a message, claim it for yourself, and then hold yourself accountable. 

Use the filter system, find your support system, and I guarantee you that they are out there and it will happen for you in no time sending you all so, so much love. I am an absolute bliss and I’m just so excited for what this new decade, what the future holds. I will see you guys in the next episode. Have an amazing week. 

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