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Celebrating 250 Podcast Episodes
Today we are celebrating 250 episodes of this podcast! If you have been here since day one, I want to extend my sincerest thank you and gratitude for tuning in every Monday. And if you are new here, welcome. I am so happy to have you here. It has been a full circle moment because I started this podcast five years ago when it was COVID in Brazil, here in Florianópolis, and now I am back right on the beach in a three bed, three bath house with my husband and baby boy and recording my 250th episode for you.
So much has changed over the past five years. So much I’ve learned now that I am a wife and mother, and so today I am getting personal and I want to share the advice I would give to my younger self. Things I’ve learned through years of building my online business, traveling full-time, and of course evolving as a person. I know many of you are at different stages of your journey.
Maybe you’re just starting at your business. Maybe you are considering a big leap. Maybe you are ready to scale to seven figures, or maybe you’re just. Trying to figure out how to balance family and work. But wherever you are, I hope that these reflections help you feel seen, supported, and inspired. Also, now that my family has a one year lease here in Florianópolis, we are onboarding two nannies to take care of baby Leven so that mom and dad can get back to their routine.
For me, that means more content creation, connecting with all of you guys, connecting with my community more, and of course, surfing. At this point, Leven is almost seven months and we don’t need a night nurse anymore. He is sleeping very well. So now I feel like I want time to really get back to the things that light me up, while at the same time embracing motherhood as a whole.
Don’t Wait Until You’re Ready
So the first piece of advice that I would give to my younger self, this is a constant reminder even for myself today, is not to wait until you are ready. When I was younger, I thought there would be this magical moment where I’d feel a hundred percent prepared to move or to start a business, or to take a leap.
Always fold by this impression that you are going to feel ready first. And the truth is that you will never feel completely ready. Growth always happens outside of your comfort zone. So the catch 22 is you need to do the action before you are mentally and physically there. So sometimes you just have to say yes to things that don’t make sense because they will lead you.
To a completely different life and a completely different outcome. If you wanted to stay exactly where you are right now, then you would take the same actions. And those same actions are your comfort zone because they led you to where you are right now. So if you want to do something, you will never be ready for it.
And so my advice is to start before you’re ready, figure things out along the way, and don’t overthink it. Do not psych yourself out. Do not automatically assume the worst case scenario and you’ll get so much farther. I think for a good majority of my life I was so risk averse and I was always in my head and it would get to me because it would just delay what I wanted to do. And so if I could go back to that risk adverse, Danielle, who grew up in an immigrant home and was taught to save every penny and to not take risks, study finance, get a good job, take the traditional safe path, I would encourage her to do what lights you up. You don’t have to live in this constant scarcity survival mode forever. You actually have the luxury to be able to take risks even before you are ready.
Stop Comparing Your Timeline to Others
The second piece of advice I would give to my younger self is to stop comparing your timeline to others. I feel like, because again, this is rooted in my immigrant Chinese upbringing, I used to constantly be comparing myself and measuring myself to my peers, because my parents used to do the same. I remember being so irritated as a child because it wasn’t their intention, but because it kept bringing my cousins or their friends’ kids into the picture. I would feel like I was constantly being compared to them, and whether it was careers or relationships or finances, it always stuck with me and it created this really competitive person within myself.
And the reality is that every path is different. Everyone’s path is different. Everyone’s life is different, and so comparison only steals your joy. If I knew that from the beginning and I could relieve myself of all the times I compared myself to other people and just tried to be. The best of the best in school or in piano or in cheerleading, like whatever it was.
If I could just relieve myself of that stress, I think it would’ve saved me so many tears growing up. What matters most is staying true to what you want, not what society or anyone else. Tells you to want, and as soon as you find yourself anxiously attaching to someone else’s life in comparison, then that’s when you’re going wrong and that’s when you are just not recognizing that there is so much power and creativity and beauty within you that when you dim your light because of someone else, you are causing a disservice to yourself and there’s truly no need for that because the only person you’re hurting is yourself.
So if you can stop comparing your timeline to others, know unwaveringly, that whatever is meant to be yours is coming to you. It will completely transform your life. Now, as a mother, I am becoming increasingly aware of this habit within myself, and I am actively working on changing it because I will never want my kids to feel like they are subpar or that they are lacking in one way, shape, or form.
Everyone is so unique in their own way, and if you teach a child to look at life through the lens of comparing themselves to others in the long run, it will never end in happiness. Instead, it will just constantly be noticing what they are lacking that others have, and you should always be appreciating what you do have right in front of you. Be grateful because that is truly what matters.
Start Investing in Yourself Early
The next piece of advice is to start investing in yourself sooner. For the longest time, I thought I had to figure everything out on my own, and I took pride in that. I took pride in knowing everything and figuring out things by myself and doing things by myself.
I thought hard work and trial and error were enough to get me to where I wanted to be, and while yes, resilience and persistence are very important. There is something even more powerful and saves you so much time shortening the learning curve through investing in people who have already been there, done that.
The first time I invested in a mentor, I was terrified because I’ve never done anything like it. I remember thinking, who am I to spend this money? What if it doesn’t work? What if I can’t make it back? But the truth is, every single time I’ve put money into myself, whether that was a coach, a course, a mastermind, or even experiences that stretched my comfort zone or trying a new workout or eating healthier, whatever that investment is into myself, it is paid me back multiple times over. The reason why is you are your biggest asset. You are the one thing in your business, in your life, in your career that will never go away.
So when you invest in your knowledge, your mindset, your skills, it compounds over time. You get 1% better. Every single day, and that is significant in the long run. It accelerates your growth in ways you can’t comprehend right now because you are currently in one state of mind and you want to be constantly expanding. So if you are sitting there wondering if you should spend the money on that class, that retreat, whatever it is, the answer is almost always yes. When you learn from people who have.
Been where you want to go. You save so much time, you avoid unnecessary mistakes, you gain clarity and confidence, and you start moving towards your goals faster. So I would tell my younger self to stop second guessing and start investing in yourself early. The sooner you realize you deserve it and you can do it, the sooner your dreams will start becoming your reality.
Remember That Money Is a Tool, Not a Destination
The next piece of advice that I would give to myself and that I give to all of my clients is that money is a tool, not a destination (for more money mindset specific advice, check out this previous podcast episode nad blog). Because I constantly compared myself to other people, I would focus on metrics. I was such a numbers oriented gal, and I still am in my business. But I measured my success in numbers. So if I just hit this milestone, if I just get to six figures, if I just get to multiple six figures, if I just have X amount in the bank, then I will finally feel successful.
But here is what actually happened, and here’s what happens with many of my clients. You hit those numbers and instead of feeling this sense of, whoa, I’ve made it, you immediately move the goalpost. So suddenly six figures wasn’t enough. I wanted multiple six, then seven. And the cycle never ends. You recognize after, well, personally, 32 years of living, that it’s this feeling that you are chasing. It’s not even the feeling of ‘I’ve made it’, it’s you want to keep chasing something. So one day it clicked for me that money is not the destination.
It is a tool, so money itself doesn’t bring fulfillment. It’s what you do with it that matters. Do you use it to buy freedom, to create experiences, to make memories with people you love to give back to create impact. If you are only chasing money for the sake of money, you’re always going to feel like you are behind.
You’re always going to feel like you don’t have enough because there’s always more money. That you could be making, and there’s always people making more money than you, so there’s always going to be more to catch up to. And you do not want that because you will never feel fulfilled. So when you start seeing money as a resource, as a tool or a vehicle, it shifts.
Everything. For example, I just booked round trip tickets from Florianopolis, Brazil to Washington, DC for a weekend for a wedding, and I’m staying at a beautiful hotel and it will be my first trip away without the baby. But although I am scared, I am also excited, and it’s this feeling of just feeling expansive, of feeling like myself, this freedom that I can just go to DC for five days, see all of my closest friends and invest in my relationships.
That is freedom to me. When you start seeing money as this resource, it stops being a scoreboard and it starts being an amplifier. For the lifestyle you want to live for, the causes you care about, coupled with the fact that everyone’s life is different, everyone’s values and interests and experiences are different.
If you have the money as a tool, you get to bring your own dreams to life. So I would tell my younger self, don’t obsess over the numbers. Numbers mean nothing. Instead ask yourself, how do I want to use money to create a life? I love a life that excites me every single day. That brings me true fulfillment and purpose. That is where the real success is. If you can build that life and not let other people distract you and just focus on yourself, you will always be happy and you can always choose to be happy.
Trust the Process
And then the last piece of advice, this might be the hardest lesson of all, and I am honestly still learning it and trying to incorporate it and remind myself every day of it. It’s also the most beautiful, which is trust the process. When you want something, the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it, and it’s not always going to be on your timeline. So you need to trust the process.
If you’ve ever been in a season of waiting or in a season where nothing seems to be working, you know how stressful it feels. I’ve had failed launches where I thought my business was over. I’ve had detours that completely shifted my plans. I’ve had a miscarriage that completely uprooted what we were going to do for the year. Heartbreaks and disappointments in the moment, it feels unbearable and it feels like the world is against you.
You don’t understand why it happened. You don’t. See why it happened to you. But here is what I’ve learned. Every single stepback was preparing me for something bigger. So that failed launch. It taught me resilience and gave me the data I needed to create a program that actually worked, that detour. It opened doors to opportunities I never would’ve considered otherwise. Heartbreaks and miscarriages, it taught me to love myself despite what. Life brings, and it brought me people that were bigger and better than I could have ever imagined. It brought me my wonderful husband and my beautiful baby boy. Looking back, it all makes sense, but in the moment, it honestly didn’t.
And that’s where trust comes in. Trusting the timing of your life, trusting that you are not behind, and honestly just trusting that things are folding exactly as they’re meant to and that everything. Happens for a reason. So if I could go back, I would tell myself, breathe. Stop trying to control every little detail and stop thinking that setbacks mean failure because they don’t, they honestly just mean growth, they mean redirection and that something better is on its way.
If you are in a season of doubt right now, I want you to know that it is truly working out for you. Even if you can’t see it yet, or even if it doesn’t feel like it right now, trust that everything is aligning because one day you’ll look back and realize it was all leading you here.
Final Reflections and Takeaways
Ultimately, I recognize that I am still in a season of learning, and I know that in 10 years time, I’m going to be learning even more things that I would tell myself. Right now, but if you are listening and one of these resonated with you, please screenshot this episode, share it on Instagram, and tag me @thewanderlover and the podcast @thewanderloverpodcast. I’d love to know which piece of advice spoke to you the most. And remember, you already have everything you need within you. Your dream life is so possible.
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