How to Feel Fulfilled

Society gave us the idea that fulfillment is some lofty, unnatainable dream – but I truly believe that it is possible through purposeful action and goal setting (3:50). This week I challenge you to the 100 list challenge (8:15) and guide you through 6 questions to help you pursue growth and achieve fulfillment.

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Introduction

Hi everyone. Welcome back to The Wanderlover Podcast. I’m your host, Danielle Hu. Recording this episode still from Batukaras, West Java, Indonesia.

I’ve been here for almost, I’ve been here for over two months. It’s been two months and a week. Time has been absolutely just flying by. I’m making so many new friends. I have the best setup right on the beach. I have a community of locals and ex-pat friends here, business owners, and it’s just given me such incredible life business relationship fulfillment that I felt really inclined to speak to all of you about the process of finding fulfillment and how to feel fulfilled. It’s a feeling like no other, just waking up knowing what your soul’s true purpose is, what you’re meant to be doing, how you’re meant to be doing it, where you’re supposed to go.

And everything just makes sense. 

Momentum Mastermind – One spot left!

So before I dive into this week’s episode, I also want to share that there is one spot left for momentum mastermind. We start next week and we have a beautiful new group of coaches and creatives, all looking to hit their highest income month, learn from each other, collaborate with each other and support each other. Through this container. I had a feeling that one of you was listening. One of you needs this, and that is why I’m including it. In this week’s episode, we are starting no matter what we technically obviously could run the group without this spot being filled. But I just felt really called to share one last time.

If you are on the fence, think about where you would be at the end of the year. If you did, versus didn’t join. If you dedicated and committed the next four months to your online brand, where would you be at the end of the year with all of our help and support? So if there’s a little voice inside of your head constantly saying, maybe you should do it. Maybe you should join. It’s really funny because if you notice the more you try to silence it, the louder it gets. And if this message is resonating with you, you can enroll in the episode description. Or if you want to DME with any questions, just email me or send me a DM on Instagram @thewanderlover.

I hope to see you inside. This is going to be absolutely life-changing. 

My journey to fulfillment 

It’s so interesting how today I am recording an episode about feeling fulfilled when only a few years ago, fulfillment was something that I was chasing. It’s just seems like this foreign abstract concept that I couldn’t fathom, what it meant to feel fulfilled. I was working a corporate job in New York city, felt like a cog in the wheel. I would wake up before the sun had risen and work all day in a cubicle that you know, had no windows. I couldn’t see outside for the entirety of my day and I wouldn’t leave the office.

After the sun had set. I did this five days a week for multiple years, and I had no idea what to do with my life. I would binge drink on weekends and on weekdays, I would go to happy hour. Every single day, I would go out clubbing Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday night, every single week, boozy brunches on the weekends. And it was just like drinking my sorrows away. This was what my life had looked like five years ago. And if you had told me that five years later, I would be recording podcast episodes in my beach, front Villa in a remote exotic island destination to thousands and thousands of listeners with a community of amazing people.

I probably would have thought you were absolutely insane. And you had no idea what you were talking about because I had graduated with a finance and business degree, right? I was working in a corporate environment and all I had ever known was how to land corporate jobs and how has her work for someone else? So the first takeaway here is if you are not feeling fulfilled right now in your line of work, you have the power to change it. You’re listening to this episode, you’re drawing inspiration and I’m telling you with different actions, you will get different results. So when I was working in finance, I had no sense of fulfillment.

I was not making an impact with my work. I felt like I was capable of so much more and I wanted a different lifestyle for myself. I wanted to be able to travel whenever I wanted. I didn’t want to have to request vacation days. I didn’t want to be working for a giant corporation. And that was the turning point. So in order for you to feel fulfilled, you need to be super honest with yourself and ask, what do I like? What do I value? What brings me joy in my life? Sometimes this can be really hard to do, especially for my rational, maybe ex corporate or corporate listeners.

Because whenever we think about having fun or integrating fun and joy or creativity into our lives, we immediately have this voice. Maybe it’s from, you know, your parent growing up saying, you’re not allowed to have fun. You have to study. You have to be analytical or technical, and there’s no way you can make a living from being creative, whatever it is. Let’s rewrite that script in your mind and give yourself permission to go explore what lights you up. Go explore whatever it is that you even have a remote interest in, because that is not by accident. Your interests are so unique. And the first step of honoring what makes you happy will lead you to create huge, huge changes in your life.

Honoring your likes and dislikes

So know what you like and dislike? No. What activities you like and dislike? No. What kinds of lifestyles you like and dislike? What kinds of people? What kinds of coworkers? What kinds of environments? And don’t just go off the opinions of other people, right? This is for you to experience for yourself. If you don’t know, then go find out for yourself. So an exercise, a tangible exercise for you, write down a list of a hundred things that you like and a hundred things that you dislike. And this has to be from experience. It can’t just be speculation thinking, oh, I’m probably not going to like that right now.

I want you to experience it for yourself and decide for yourself. I did this when I was still in finance. I had no idea what direction I wanted to take my life or business. But I wrote down a list. I wrote down the most minuscule things that I was just drawn to for no particular reason. And I gave myself permission to write it down. I think one really random thing I said was like, I loved the queen of hearts like that playing card. I don’t know why it just came to mind. And I was like, you know what? I don’t even need a reason. I’m just going to write this down in my list. Because over time, if I commit to just focusing on these things, I’m going to attract things I like into my life, right?

So of course I had other things like I love making money. I love helping other people. I love traveling. I love creativity. And on the other hand, what I didn’t like I wrote down, I didn’t like having the requests for vacation days. I don’t like going into the office. I don’t like feeling this way. And so when I committed to honoring only those things that made me happy, I committed to pursuing the happiness. Instead of keeping myself stuck in my current unfulfilling situation, I was able to change my life.

Because if you stay in your current situation where you’re not fulfilled, you’re telling yourself my feelings or whatever I’m going through. I have to live this reality. It’s worth it to me. It’s not worth it to try and pursue something else because my comfort in this situation values more to me than my happiness. So when you first start segregating these two sides, it’s going to be really clear what you need to do next. As you’re going through this exercise, things are going to come up and you’re not going to be happy with them. You’re probably going to have thoughts like, oh, but you spent so much time on this path.

Like you should be fulfilled. This can also manifest itself. When you have an online business, maybe you’ve just started your entrepreneurship journey or maybe you’re years into your entrepreneurship journey. And you’re still not feeling fulfilled. But at one point you thought this was going to make you happy. My advice to you is to again, create another list where you are focusing on the good you are focusing on the blessings in your life. You are focusing on everything positive that the universe has blessed you with at this very moment. And we are going to train your subconscious to focus on what is going right all the time, instead of only noticing or celebrating when you have reached quote unquote, the finish line.

So in all of my programs and the wonder lover, business academy, private coaching momentum, every single week, I ask every person to tell me what their weekly wins are. What are we celebrating this week? Because being proud of yourself, noticing, celebrating your accomplishments, no matter how small that is, how the law of attraction works, that’s how you’re going to be more and more successful and more and more fulfilled. Focusing on the good is a habit. You can train yourself to adopt this habit. And I promise you when you focus on what is going right, you are naturally going to feel more fulfilled as a result.

So first is honoring what you personally like and dislike.

Focus on what works already 

The second is to focus on what is going right? So adopting this habit next is to find your purpose in life. And this is a little tricky because I feel like modern day language has defined finding your purpose as this really grand almost unattainable thing that you just keep trying to reach in your lifetime. However, I want you to think about finding your purpose as combining the things that you like, the things you are naturally good at and start noticing why people come to you.

Why are they attracted to your energy? It could be with friends, with coworkers, with your parents or with your family. Why do people naturally gravitate towards you? You may have some nicknames. You might be known as a really funny one. The really caring one, the really intelligent one, the really analytical one, right? Like what are your gifts? And how do you incorporate that into things that you do on a day to day basis? So for example, when I was in finance, I was a natural creative. I was so free-spirited, but because I was in this corporate role that didn’t allow me to be who I was.

I felt so, so, so confined. And that is why I found no fulfillment in my work. If you can align what you like with what you do every day with your purpose and create something that then, then number four gives back to either your community or to other people or to the greater good. 

Give back to your community and the greater good

This is where all the magic happens. That is where I personally found my sense of self and fulfillment because every week as I was celebrating, what went right in my week, it would be like I helped my client hit their first five figure month.

I helped my client write their letter of resignation and quit their corporate job. I help my client book a one-way ticket and start their digital nomad life. I helped my client manifest their perfect relationship. Like all of these wins added up and I was working remotely. I was living my best life and it is just such an energetic match. But notice how fulfillment only happens when you intentionally focus on it and focus on yourself. So the next questions I want you to start brainstorming are how can I give back? How can I make an impact on someone else’s life?

It doesn’t have to be through my job. It’s ideal if it is through my job, but if not, how can I start random acts of kindness? How can I volunteer my time? How can I donate my money? But how can I think about a purpose that is greater than only myself? 

Find your gift & pursue growth

Next question is, what am I naturally gifted at? Why do people come to me? What is it about myself that is unique, focus on all of those qualities. And let’s try to align everything that you’ve written down. Let’s try to align it all together. The last tip I have for you to feel incredibly fulfilled is to pursue growth.

This can look like in business. This can look like in your relationships. It can look like in sports and activities. For me, it’s surfing, but you know what? Ideally it would be in every single one of these categories. If you are pursuing growth in all aspects of your life, you are only going to feel more and more fulfillment. When you see yourself growing and getting better and expanding into this bigger person. Do you see that when you are pursuing and valuing growth, you give yourself permission to fail. You give yourself permission to try new things and you give yourself permission to get better at something.

So ask yourself in what areas of my life do I have the potential to grow? How can I grow in these areas? Who can I talk to? Who do I look up to? Who can I learn from? All of these questions are going to lead you to a different reality because you are now seeking fulfillment. You are seeking internally and externally. What lights you up, what you are naturally gifted at. You are aligning your passions with your likes and dislikes with your interests, with your expertise. And you are energetically powering all of this because you have the desire to be a better and bigger person.

And when you combine all of these steps, when you do the self-reflection and when you take action on it, that is how you’re going to feel fulfilled. If you want to start this introspection process, or if you want to incorporate it more into your daily routine, just noticing what is going right in your life. Focusing on the good in the Passion Planner, which I’ve talked about in numerous episodes, my physical journal that I’ve been using for the past five years, every single week, it makes you list down what went well this week? What are we celebrating? And in this little box as the week, you know, as every day passes, I’m just writing down, oh, this happened.

I helped my clients with this. I volunteered to teach English at the local school here in Indonesia, you get the point. And when you make this something that you do every single day and every single week for years and years, like, do you see how it can only get better for you? So if you want your own copy of the passion planner, where you can plan out your life, but also introduce all of these little mindset hacks into your day-to-day life, you can use my discount code, Danielle H868 at checkout for 10% off all orders of passion planner. I will include the discount code and the episode description.

But overall, I hope you integrate everything I’ve said. I hope you go through these exercises and really find out new things about yourself, your preferences, and commit to the things that make you happy. Let me know how this goes. Let me know what parts of this episode resonated with you. If you really enjoyed this episode, it would mean so much to me. If you could screenshot it, share it to your stories and tag the launder lover podcast on Instagram. Thank you guys so much. Let me know if you have any questions and I will see you in the next episode, have an amazingly guys sending love to you all.

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