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Hello from Ericeira, Portugal!
If you’ve been following along on Instagram, you’ll know Ragz and I are staying at a beautiful two bedroom ocean view condo, where I converted our second bedroom into my podcast recording studio.
We absolutely love it here.
We joined an amazing co-working community and are working with luxury hotels in the area.
Comparison Is A Thief of Joy
I’ve gone through it myself.
The first time I remember it completely consumed me, was when I was working a corporate job, looking at influencers on Instagram and being like, “Why can’t I travel the world full time?”
At the start of my business, I would see other people making six figures and asking, “Why am I not hitting those milestones?”
So today’s episode comes from a place where I’ve been inside the frame.
You can’t see the picture when you’re inside the frame.
But once you step out of that frame, you can look back and see so clearly the reason why things happened the way they did.
And having the experience gives you more awareness and empathy as you grow as a business owner, towards other people who are going through the same thing.
Why do we compare ourselves?
How many times have you achieved something in our business and you were so happy about, but then you go on social media and you see someone else celebrating a win that is bigger than yours?
Immediately, your attention and energy starts to shift.
“Why am I not at that level?” And you immediately shift from abundance to lack.
Why do we do this as humans?
It’s because as a society, we are obsessed with milestones. We are obsessed with comparison and achieving a certain thing by a certain age.
This starts when we are babies, when parents are conditioned to measure growth and development weeks at a time.
It’s such a generic measure because everyone is different, especially in entrepreneurship. As business owners, everyone is in their own niche and in their own lane. There really is no comparison.
Confidence and Self Worth
It wasn’t until I started doing the inner work myself, I started noticing internal dialogues in my mind when comparing.
I was able to recognize this habit of constant comparison coming from a place of feeling like I’m not good enough.A feeling that whatever I’ve accomplished is not going to be recognized until I am at the destination.
When I have achieved that thing, then I will be happy.
If you can relate, this is a thought that you have to change.
Because if you fail to recognize everything that you have already achieved, you’re constantly going to be comparing yourself to other people and find something lacking.
Do not compare your Chapter 1 to someone else’s Chapter 20.
Your Chapter One
If this is your first year in business, you cannot be comparing yourself to people who have been in business for five years or ten years.
In the beginning, we always have this facade where we think we are doing so much every single day, and should see success before anyone else.
But there is so much you don’t currently know and so much to learn.
The only person you should be comparing yourself to right now is the person you were at the beginning of your business journey.
- Are you making more money?
- Do you know more?
- Do you have more assets?
- Do you have more experience?
- Do you have a larger network?
In my programs, we focus on everything big and small that we have accomplished.
The more energy you direct to what is serving you and what is making you so abundant, the less time and energy you’re going to have to dwell on what is lacking.
Have Patience
In addition to competitiveness being a factor in comparison, the other main trait that I see is impatience.
You just need to let things happen and trust in the universe, trust in the timing of your own life, instead of comparing it to other people.
A few years ago, it was so hard for me to stick to a workout routine.
I would download a 12 week program, go to the gym for a week, see no results after a week, and convince myself that the program wasn’t working.
My impatience made me unhappy.
It didn’t give me the result I was after because I simply just didn’t give it enough time.
Instead of measuring my success based on how much leaner or skinnier or more fit I looked after a week, what I actually should have been focusing on were my daily habits.
- How often was I going to the gym?
- What was I eating?
- What was the lifestyle I was living to promote the leanest, fittest, version of myself?
I was just taking a progress photo after a week and judging my success prematurely.
I was setting myself up for failure.
It’s going to discourage me if I compare my progress photo after a week to other people’s progress photos after 12 weeks.
So instead, I should have had patience and trusted that if I finished the 12 week program, I was going to see more results.
Same thing in business.
You can be working really hard every day on your business the first month, and then all of a sudden you realize people are making five figure months and hitting multiple six figures.
They’re hitting a million dollars or whatever it is.
All of a sudden, you’re comparing yourself and you go from feeling super joyful to almost depressed.
Recognize this pattern that needs to change.
I’ve been on the comparison hamster wheel. You don’t have to be jealous all the time. You don’t have to feel like you’re not good enough.
You are so worthy and know that success is coming to you.
Focus on Success
Instead, focus your attention on the habits and daily rituals that get you excited to show up and excited to sell.
The ones that get you excited to make money in your business.
Develop the habit to be in front of your computer, nurturing relationships, making connections.
Know that in the next few years, you’re going to be so wildly successful. You just need to be patient and let it all work out.
Go through the lessons, go through the mistakes, learn from your mistakes, learn from other people.
All of this is part of the process.
The Story of Two Wolves
One evening, an elderly Cherokee brave told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside of people.
My dear one, the battle between two wolves is inside of us all.
One is evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity guilt, resentment, inferiority, false pride,
superiority, and ego.
The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.
The grandson thought about it for a moment and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf wins?”
The old Cherokee replied, “The one you feed.”
So the choice to either compare or to celebrate our wins, the choice is always there in front of us.
If you feel like you’re constantly comparing, this is a sign that you’ve been feeding that bad wolf, and it’s time to
reassess how you can stop those actions.
How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
- Get rid of everyone and everything that you are comparing yourself to. This can look like a month of unfollowing whoever makes you feel like you’re behind.
- Spend 80% of your time creating and 20% consuming. Limit your screen time. Limit how much you scroll on TikTok, reels, browsing social media. And instead dedicate that time to your own business.
If these actions are causing you to constantly compare and face imposter syndrome and not show up for your business and not get the clients and customers, then ask yourself as the CEO of your business, is this worth it?
Do I want to continue or do I want to do what’s really hard in the moment?
This is your one and only life. You have one lane and all you have to do is follow it.
You do not need to be chasing what other people have.
You are on your own divine path, set out by the Universe or God or whatever faith you believe in. It’s solely yours. It’s only yours. There is no competition.
Feel free to DM me anything that comes up for you and I will see you in the next episode. Have an amazing week!
If you’ve enjoyed this episode, it would mean so much if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This helps us spread The Wanderlover mission to those who need a dose of inspiration today.
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