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Happiness in the Present Moment
Welcome back to another episode of the Wanderlover Podcast. In today’s episode, we are diving into a topic that touches every single one of us. How to be happier right now, exactly where you are with exactly what you have. I was inspired to record this episode after speaking with a few other new moms (you can hear about my birth story in Brazil here) who were just really overwhelmed by motherhood in the moment and getting even more overwhelmed throughout the conversation because they were trying to figure out their future life plans while having this new baby.
And some of them were also comparing their current lives to their lives before having a baby. One of them had work plans that they didn’t know how to fit into their schedule. Another mom had a wedding that she didn’t know how to attend, and it became a conversation filled with feelings of missing out, anxiety and sadness for a life that they once had. One mom even said that she couldn’t wait for her baby to grow up, which made me really sad, but I am recording this episode and sharing that life isn’t about doing more, achieving more, or waiting for some perfect moment in the future, waiting for other people to reach a certain point in life. For your happiness.
It’s about shifting your mindset and intentionally bringing joy into the present moment. This power is available to you at all times. I touched upon this in the conversation, but I really wanted to reflect and dedicate a whole episode to this because it’s just so applicable to this chapter of my life and to all of you entrepreneurs and travelers out there as well.
Understanding Mindset Changes
First, I want to talk about mindset because how we think creates how we feel, and this is similar to my last episode, where we shift from a victim mentality to a growth mentality. The first step is to be aware. I read this quote that recently completely shifted how I view my life and the thoughts that cross my mind, and it is a powerful quote by Gay Hendricks that says:
Each of us has an inner thermostat setting that determines exactly how much love, success, and creativity we allow ourselves to enjoy.
And what that means is many of us subconsciously limit our happiness. We self-sabotage when things get too good or we fall into a pattern of believing we’re not allowed to be fully happy until everything is perfect. We have this inner thermostat that we’ve been programmed with, whether it’s from childhood.
From our experiences growing up, we have this thermostat and it stays there. So when things are going really good, you self-sabotage and you bring yourself into that safe comfort level. And if you can recognize when you do this, you can change your course of action. And here’s the truth, perfection is an illusion.
Your happiness is your responsibility. When you shift from a victim mindset of life is happening to me, to a growth mindset of life is happening for me, everything changes. You also recognize that you have the power to shift all of your thoughts when you are self sabotaging. So the first step is simply noticing when you are holding yourself back.
I’ve been noticing this pattern in the mom communities because we love when our children reach new milestones, but we also get really cautious when everything is going perfectly. And so in the mom groups I’m a part of, I’ll see many moms self-sabotage and start worrying about something that’s completely irrelevant right after their children hit milestones. So it’s like, oh, my child just did this, but they’re not doing this, this, and this. And then they’ll go down rabbit holes of Googling and trying to get their thermostat back to a level of comfort by introducing all of this worry and anxiety into their lives. I also see this with. Some of my friends in the dating world, if they don’t have conflict with someone that they’ve gone on dates with, they’ll create some drama or they’ll make something up because they’re just not used to everything going right all the time.
They need to get back to that level, and so their brain comes up with these scenarios or tries to find something wrong. Do you see yourself doing this in some area of your life? Because I guarantee you. You probably are. Everyone does this in one way, shape, or form, and when you can recognize when those thoughts enter your mind, when something’s going then you can catch yourself and you can change them.
Staying Present and Practicing Mindfulness
Which brings me to the next step, which is to stay in the now. When you realize that your thoughts are racing through your head in the present moment and affecting your current experience, you can choose happiness. Happiness is only available in the present moment, but most of us are either replaying the past or worrying about the future.
And another quote that comes to mind is anxiety is worrying about the future. Depression is dwelling on the past. Being mindful is being present. And remember worrying is praying for what you don’t want to happen. When you practice Mindfulness, this is the fastest way to get out of your head. Get out of the anxiety inducing future. Get out of the depression inducing past and just live your life. Invite happiness in right now, whether it’s through meditation, breath work, or just putting your phone down and looking around. Being here creates instant peace because you recognize that a lot of the life you’re living, a lot of that negative emotion is all happening in your mind, and ultimately you are safe.
You are loved. You are in this present moment and you can make it something so special. You can’t be fully present and fully stressed at the same time, so the sooner you can let go of your thoughts and just bring it back. Center, you give space for happiness. Once you stop all of those anxiety inducing thoughts, you can focus on what’s working and focus on gratitude.
Harness Gratitude
This is one of the most powerful tools I return to daily, especially when I feel off. There is a section in my Passion Planner where I write down every single good thing that’s happened, everything that I am grateful for, because according to the law.
Of attraction, what you focus on expands. So when you use your mental load in the present moment to focus on what is lacking, you attract more lack. You start noticing more and more things that are lacking and what you don’t have. However, when you focus on what you do have, you attract more abundance.
There is always so much that you have. Whether it’s your health, whether it’s family, whether it’s friends, whether it’s your business, the freedom, the money, you always have something and that is what you need to focus on. This is shifting your thermostat. This is increasing your thermostat to be comfortable with more joy, with more abundance, with more success and creativity.
And it’s also a muscle that you need to exercise and you need to practice over and over every morning or every night. Write down three things you are grateful for and don’t just list them, feel them. Feel the happiness and let it sink in. Let it sink in without self-sabotaging. Let it sink in without your mind racing to things that you don’t have and being like, ‘Oh, but I don’t deserve this. Oh, but I don’t have this. Oh, but…’ – no excuses. Just fully be present. With everything going right and what you do have over time, your brain starts scanning for the positive by default, and that’s when real happiness takes root. You get to increase the amount of enjoyment that comes from every moment without those self-sabotaging thoughts, without racing to the past or racing to the future.
So just focus on the present and focus on what’s working. Do you see how even by just shifting the simple thing, you are setting yourself up for so much happiness that you get to self-audit and take ownership of why you view life a certain way. You don’t have to default to, I don’t deserve to be happy, or I’m not happy because of X, Y, and Z.
You can default to, I always have something to be grateful for. I always have something to be happy about.
Engage in Meaningful Activities
Next, we want to make time for meaningful activities. Obviously, this is going to look different for everyone, but give yourself permission to explore new activities, activities that light you up. Activities that give you fulfillment. These are the things that make you lose track of time and make you feel connected to yourself and the world around you.
For me, personally, thats surfing, going outside, creating content, spending time with my husband, spending time with my baby boy and doing any of these things for however long, it just brings me so much joy and happiness. These are my defaults. If I’m not feeling like doing something, I will default to spending time with someone I care about or working on my business in an area that makes me lose track of time.
I want you to ask yourself, what makes me feel alive? What did I love doing as a child? When was the last time I felt truly joyful and what was I doing? What truly makes my heart smile when I think about it. This can be an activity. It can be a person, it can be a thing or a pet. Ask yourself what brings you joy and incorporate more of that into your life.
Schedule those things and don’t wait for permission. You can spend your time however you want, do more of the things that make you happy.
Practice Self-Compassion
Next, we want to be kind to yourself and focus on self-compassion, real talk. You cannot hate yourself into a better life, and you cannot bully yourself into being happy. You can’t ask yourself questions like, what is wrong with me? Why can’t I be happier? Why can’t I do this? Why is my life not like that? Why do they get X, Y, and Z? And why am I stuck in X, Y, and Z? These questions that you ask yourself are going to shape and frame your reality. Self-compassion is key. Talk to yourself like you would talk to your best friend, and when you mess up, when you’re exhausted, when you’re sad, be gentle on yourself.
Don’t beat yourself up over it. Happiness thrives in safety, and you wanna create that safe bubble within you by being kind to yourself. This is obviously easier said than done, but by recognizing when you have these thoughts in your mind, you can then practice shifting these thoughts. Ask Chat GPT to help you with this.
Sometimes Chat GPT can give you so many new ideas of how you can tackle problems once you recognize that they are solvable. Be kind to yourself. We all have that inner mean girl. Getting rid of her is key. As a new mom, I’ve been so careful with how I approach words to my baby boy because I know that my voice is going to be his inner voice.
I am so conscious of what the world speaks to him, how he views this life, and of course, I want his inner voice to also be my inner voice. I am so kind to him and I get to be so kind to myself as well.
Taking Care of Your Whole Self
That means taking care of yourself, physically, emotionally, and mentally. Don’t be afraid to put yourself first. Do simple things every day to put yourself first and make time for yourself, like eating foods that nourish your body or moving in ways that energize you. Drink enough water, sleep, rest, self-care. Set boundaries that protect your peace and remove toxic people and influences from your life. This doesn’t all have to happen at once, but if you can start making shifts day to day that make you feel just 1% better, it’s going to have an exponential effect on your life. You can read about the 7 self-care practices that I recommend as a busy business owner here.
You deserve a life that feels good, not just looks good. I want you to have a life that you are wildly obsessed about, and I want you to be happy. I know you have the capacity to. I know that you can expand in success in love and creativity, in abundance every single day. You don’t need to bring yourself back, and I want you to put yourself first. So make sure to take care of your whole self because you truly cannot pour from an empty cup no matter what season or chapter you are in right now, whether you’re in a transitory period, whether you’re in an expansion period. You have the power to create happiness.
Embracing Happiness
And in conclusion, happiness isn’t something to chase. It’s something to allow and bring into your life. You are allowed to feel good right now. Thank you guys so much for tuning in. If this episode helped you, please take a moment to screenshot it and share it to your stories. tag on instagram thewanderlover and thewanderloverpodcast so that this message reaches more people and so that I can repost you. I appreciate it so much, sending you so much love wherever you are in the world, and I will see you guys in the next episode or blog!
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