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When the Year Didn’t Go as Planned
If you didn’t achieve the goals you set for 2025, if you’re looking back at the year feeling disappointed, frustrated, or confused about how much effort you put in versus what you got back—if you’re trying to stay positive on the outside, but internally you’re thinking, why does it feel like everyone else moved forward except for me?
I really want you to stay with me for this. This is not a motivational pep talk. This is not a “let’s just try harder next year” speech. It’s not about shaming yourself for what didn’t happen. I want to share this episode about understanding why it didn’t happen and why that might actually be exactly what needed to happen for what’s coming next for you.
My Big Goals And Invisible Years
If you are new here, hi, I’m Danielle. I’ve spent most of my adult life setting really big goals for my career, business, income, lifestyle, travel, and family. From the outside, it probably looks like I hit a lot of them. But what you don’t see year after year, and what most people don’t talk about, are the times where things didn’t move the way I expected.
The years where the vision was clear, the intention was there, I was doing everything “right” and on track, but the results lagged behind. Those years used to mess with me the most until I realized something that completely changed the way I see so-called failed years. I’ve also coached hundreds of clients through these types of years as well, and what I’ve noticed isn’t absolute failure—it’s mindset.
The Problem With How We Measure Success
There is a fundamental problem with how we, as a modern society, define success. Most of us are measuring success with metrics that don’t tell the full story—revenue, followers, milestones, timelines, external proof, or the idea that you must accomplish something by a certain age.
Those things matter, but they’re lagging indicators. They reflect who you were operating as months or even years ago. So when you look at your 2025 results and feel disappointed, you’re often judging yourself based on outcomes that were set in motion by an older version of you.
Goals Don’t Fail, Identity Mismatches Do
Here is the brutal honest truth: goals do not fail because of laziness. They fail because of an identity mismatch. We set goals that require us to operate at a different level—higher standards, better boundaries, emotional regulation, decision-making under pressure, consistency without external validation.
But so often, we set those goals without matching our identity to who we need to become. We’re still operating from past ingrained patterns like people-pleasing, fear of being seen, fear of being judged, fear of outgrowing familiar identities, or a nervous system that associates success with danger.
Subconsciously, we stall, procrastinate, overthink, and ultimately self-sabotage. Not because we don’t want the goal, but because we haven’t become the person who feels safe holding it yet. You cannot snap from A to B instantly. It takes time. You cannot outperform your old ways of thinking or your old nervous system.
Why Self-Sabotage Is Actually Protection
Your thoughts influence your feelings, which influence your actions, which influence your results. If your thoughts are saying—even subtly—that success feels unsafe, your body will always take actions that reset you back to your current reality.
This might look like setting goals but not following through, starting strong for a few weeks or months and then burning out. It might look like staying busy but not effective, avoiding visibility or growth opportunities, or staying in “I’m almost there” energy.
From the outside, it looks like inconsistency. On the inside, it’s protection. Your system is asking: can I handle the responsibility, pressure, visibility, and identity shift that comes with this next level? If the answer is no, progress slows on purpose. Honestly, I’d say half of this is self-inflicted and the other half is divine timing. Some years are not meant for expansion. They’re meant for integration and alignment.
Integration Years and Divine Timing
An integration year is when lessons finally sink in, when old patterns die, when you stop forcing outcomes and start trusting yourself and the universe. It’s uncomfortable because there’s less external validation. And if you’re in my community, I attract high achievers who are always chasing the next milestone, so slowing down feels wrong.
But integration years are when you’re doing invisible work and planting seeds for a solid foundation.
Celebrating Wins You Forgot to Count
Inside the Wanderlover Coaching Group, we recently had our live annual wrap-up coaching call, where we reflected on every single win from this year. It’s so important to recognize how far you’ve come rather than how much farther you think you need to go. If you haven’t done this yet, take time to journal every win—big or small, visible or silent. Say them out loud. Tell yourself how proud you are.
So many of us tell ourselves, “I’ll just push harder next year.” January comes, motivation spikes, gyms are packed, and by February, we default back to our status quo. Pushing harder is rarely the answer, and it’s not sustainable. The better questions are: who do I want to become this year? What identity do I need to shift into? What thoughts or behaviors are no longer aligned? Growth is less about effort and more about precision.
Identity Creates Action
If you want to lose weight, identify as a fit, healthy person and take actions aligned with that identity. If you want to be a content creator, say it out loud: I am a content creator. I am a photographer. I am a coach. I am a world traveler.
Then ask yourself what that version of you would do.
Sometimes we don’t achieve goals because achieving them would require letting go of an old identity—one that over-explains, people-pleases, plays small, waits for permission, or needs certainty before action. Those identities once served you, but they can’t come with you where you’re going.
Reframing the Year With Compassion
Instead of asking, “Why didn’t I hit my goals?” ask: What patterns became clear? What stopped working? What drained me versus energized me? Where did I grow emotionally, mentally, spiritually? Clarity is progress. Self-awareness is progress, even if your external life hasn’t caught up yet.
You are not behind. You are not failing. Stop comparing your chapter one to someone else’s chapter twenty. You are not the same person you were at the beginning of the year, and many of you have accomplished what once felt impossible without even realizing it.
Anything that feels impossible for 2026 will eventually become your reality. If you didn’t achieve your goals in 2025, it doesn’t mean you failed. It means something inside you was recalibrating. Your foundation was being strengthened. You are becoming someone who can actually hold and sustain what they desire.
That version of you is closer than you think.
If this resonated, please like, subscribe, and let me know in the comments what you’re proud of yourself for achieving this year and what you’re calling in for the new year. I’ll see you in the next episode. Have an amazing week, my love.
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