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I am officially back in New York after living in Brazil for over a year, and one thing I’ve realized is that everyone talks about culture shock when you move abroad, but no one talks enough about reverse culture shock when you come home.
I’m American. I grew up in New York and lived here for most of my life. So technically, none of the things I’m going to talk about today are new to me. But after living abroad for so long and getting used to everyday life in Brazil, coming back to the US has made me notice so many things I never would have thought twice about before.
I think that’s actually one of my favorite things about living abroad. You don’t just learn about another country. You start seeing your own country differently because now you have something to compare it to.
Things that used to feel completely normal suddenly make you stop and think, wait… we do WHAT here?
There are things about being back in America that I absolutely LOVE, and there are things I really miss about Brazil. This isn’t about one country being better than the other. It’s just really interesting seeing how quickly your definition of “normal” can change.
So, here are some of the biggest reverse culture shocks I’ve experienced since moving back to the US from Brazil.
1. American Consumerism Is on Another Level
The first one, and probably one of the biggest things I’ve noticed since coming back, is consumerism.
I suddenly feel like I need to buy everything.
Obviously, people shop in Brazil. Consumerism exists everywhere. But there is something about being back in the US where I constantly feel like I’m being presented with something I didn’t know I needed five minutes ago.
There are just so many products, so many stores, so many advertisements, so many sales, and everything is designed to make buying something as easy as possible.
You go on Amazon because you need one very specific thing, and Amazon is like, “Absolutely, here are 75 versions of that thing. Also, here are seven other things that people who bought that thing also purchased.”
And suddenly I’m thinking, wait, DO I need this? Would this make my life better? Maybe I should get this too.
It’s completely normal to just have boxes outside your house from deliveries every single day.
I think part of that is connected to my next reverse culture shock: how unbelievably convenient everything is here.
2. Everything in America Is So Convenient
Convenience is probably one of my favorite things about being back in the US.
America is really, really good at removing friction from everyday life. Amazon Prime, grocery delivery, drive-through Starbucks, same-day delivery, easy returns. If you need something, there is probably a way to get it without even leaving your house.
I can be sitting at home at 10 p.m., realize I need something, order it from my phone, and there’s a reasonable chance it’s going to be sitting outside the house the next day.
That’s actually crazy when you stop and think about it.
And having a toddler makes me appreciate convenience in a completely different way.
Before I had a child, driving somewhere to pick something up wasn’t that big of a deal. Now it’s like, okay, I have to get him dressed, get his shoes on, get everything together, put him in the car seat, drive there, get him out of the car seat, hope he’s not having a meltdown in the store, and then put him BACK in the car seat.
Or I can press one button and someone leaves it outside the house.
But I also think convenience and consumerism feed into each other because there’s almost no friction between wanting something and owning it.
You don’t have that moment where you’re forced to think, do I actually need this badly enough to go find it? It’s just click, click, purchase.
So I’m simultaneously appreciating American convenience and realizing that I have to actively stop myself from buying things just because they’re available.
3. Tipping Culture Is Everywhere
Another form of American convenience that I apparently blocked out of my memory while living abroad is tipping culture.
I forgot how much we tip here.
You get coffee, there’s a tip screen. You get takeout, there’s a tip screen. You order something at a counter, they spin the iPad around, and there’s a tip screen.
You get your nails done, tip. Hair, tip. Restaurant, tip. Delivery, tip.
So if you get your hair done for $400, you add another $100 to that AT LEAST.
Obviously, I grew up here, so I know tipping culture. This isn’t new information to me. But when you’ve been living somewhere where tipping isn’t built into every single transaction in the same way, coming back makes it SO noticeable.
Especially because the prices you see aren’t necessarily what you’re actually going to pay.
You see the menu price, then you have tax, then you have tip, and suddenly your total is very different from the number you originally saw.
I’ll open DoorDash and think, okay, I’ll just order something. Maybe the food itself is $20 or $25. And then by the time I actually get to checkout, somehow we’ve added another $15 or $20 to the order.
There are delivery fees, service fees, tax, tip, and sometimes the food itself is more expensive on the delivery app. I’m sitting there staring at my phone thinking, HOW did we get here?
My $20 meal is suddenly approaching $40.
And yes, I know the obvious answer is not to order DoorDash. Go pick it up.
But that’s exactly the American convenience trap! You CAN have somebody bring your food directly to your door. It’s amazing. And then you get to checkout and remember that convenience has a price.
In Brazil, free delivery on iFood, or delivery for just a dollar or two, is so common. It’s definitely something I appreciated while living there.
4. Childcare and Household Help Are So Expensive
Another thing that has been a huge adjustment coming back is childcare and household help.
This one feels especially dramatic because we got so used to having help in Brazil.
Having regular babysitting and help was a normal part of our routine there. It gave me time to work, record, exercise, get things done, and just have some structure to my day.
Coming back to the US has really reminded me that childcare and household help here are luxuries.
Obviously, childcare costs vary enormously depending on where you live and what kind of childcare you’re using, but it can be SO expensive.
I think this is one of those things where you don’t realize how accustomed you’ve become to something until you don’t have it anymore.
In Brazil, we had built our lives around having that support. Then you come back to the US and suddenly you’re looking at what regular babysitting or daycare costs and thinking, wow, okay, this changes the equation quite a bit.
And it’s not just childcare. Cleaning, household help, beauty services, and so many other services that felt much more accessible in Brazil suddenly become something you have to budget for here.
I think services are one of the biggest areas where I notice the cost difference between the two countries.
It’s not necessarily that every physical product is cheaper in Brazil, because that’s definitely not true. There are plenty of imported products and electronics that can actually be more expensive.
But anything involving someone’s time and labor can feel dramatically different when you come back to the US.
5. Everything in America Is HUGE
And then we need to talk about SIZES.
Everything is huge.
I forgot.
Restaurant portions are huge. Drinks are huge. Cars are huge. Roads and stores are huge.
And then I went to Costco.
Costco after living abroad is an experience.
You walk in and it’s like, would you like 48 rolls of toilet paper? Would you like enough olive oil to supply a restaurant? Would you like a container of strawberries large enough to feed your entire extended family?
And apparently I do, because I love Costco.
But it’s so funny coming back and seeing these quantities again because it feels completely normal when you’re used to living here. Then you leave for a while, come back, and you’re like, why is EVERYTHING so big?
I’ve noticed this specifically with food.
Seedless grapes. I missed seedless grapes so much. And now I can buy this enormous container of perfect seedless grapes. Half of me is like GREAT, and the other half is like, this can’t be good for you.
I needed lemons for my tzatziki the other day, and the bag was like “giant seedless lemons!” And I was like, do I want this? Do I want my lemons to be seedless?
The apples are huge.
Chicken breasts are enormous. I genuinely forgot how big American chicken breasts can be. I’ll look at one and think, this is basically enough chicken for multiple people.
Everything feels engineered for maximum size.
Which is why I feel like it’s so hard to eat healthy in America because even basic fruits and meats are so different. But that’s content for another day!
6. American Grocery Stores Have TOO MANY OPTIONS
This leads me into grocery stores in general because American grocery stores are overwhelming when you haven’t been in one for a while.
THE OPTIONS.
If I want yogurt, I don’t just have yogurt. I have an entire WALL of yogurt.
Greek yogurt, regular yogurt, dairy-free yogurt, high-protein yogurt, low-fat yogurt, zero-fat yogurt, yogurt with granola, yogurt without granola, vanilla, strawberry, blueberry, key lime pie, birthday cake.
Every brand has 15 flavors.
You need cereal? Here’s an entire aisle.
You need peanut butter? Here are 30 peanut butters.
You need milk? Okay, what KIND of milk?
Whole milk, 2%, 1%, skim, lactose-free, almond, oat, soy, coconut, cashew.
And I actually love having options. I’m not complaining. But decision fatigue is REAL.
Sometimes I just want to buy one thing, and instead I’m standing there comparing seven versions of it.
I think America is incredible at creating a product for every possible niche. If you have a specific dietary preference, allergy, fitness goal, or taste preference, there is probably something made specifically for you.
That is genuinely amazing.
But there are also times when I miss having fewer choices because shopping becomes so much simpler.
7. I Really Miss Fresh Fruit and Juice in Brazil
One food-related thing I really miss about Brazil is fresh fruit and juice.
Brazil absolutely spoiled me with this.
Fresh juice is everywhere. You can go somewhere and order fresh maracujá juice, watermelon juice, pineapple with mint, orange juice, acerola, and all these fruits that either aren’t as common here or cost significantly more.
Obviously, you can get fresh fruit in America. We have plenty of fruit. I was literally just talking about my giant American apples and seedless grapes!
But there’s something about the availability and culture around fresh fruit and juices in Brazil that I really miss.
You go to the beach and get coconut water. You go out for lunch and order a fresh juice. Açaí is everywhere. There are fruit stands and different tropical fruits that became part of our normal routine.
Then I come back here and order a fresh juice and I’m like… why is this ten dollars?
Brazil made fresh juice feel like an everyday thing to me. Here, it feels much more like I’m buying myself a little wellness treat.
And food in general has been interesting because there are things I missed SO much about American grocery stores, and then there are things from Brazil that I immediately started missing once we left.
That’s probably the theme of reverse culture shock in general. You spend time abroad missing things from home, then you come home and immediately start missing things from abroad.
8. Healthcare Costs Are Something I Didn’t Miss
Another major adjustment coming back to the US is healthcare.
This is obviously a much bigger topic, and everyone’s situation is different depending on their insurance, where they live, and what kind of care they need. But the COST of healthcare is something you immediately have to start thinking about again in a completely different way.
Brazil has both public and private healthcare, and our experience there was primarily with private healthcare.
I literally gave birth in Brazil, so I had a lot of interaction with the healthcare system there.
Coming back to America, suddenly you’re thinking about insurance networks, deductibles, copays, what something is going to cost, whether a doctor takes your insurance, and all of these different layers.
And again, I’m American. I understand that this is how it works here. But after stepping outside of that system for a while, coming back into it makes you realize how much mental energy Americans dedicate to figuring out healthcare costs.
You can have a health question, and before you even get the answer, part of your brain is going, okay, but how much is this going to cost? Does my insurance cover this?
That’s definitely one of the things I didn’t miss.
9. I Can Flush My Toilet Paper Again!
And then, on the complete opposite end of the spectrum, we have one of the tiniest things that I forgot I missed about America.
I CAN FLUSH MY TOILET PAPER AGAIN.
If you’ve never been to Brazil, you’re probably thinking, what are you talking about?
But in a lot of places in Brazil, you don’t flush toilet paper because the plumbing systems aren’t designed to handle it. There’s a little trash bin next to the toilet, and that’s where your toilet paper goes.
When I first moved to Brazil, THAT was culture shock.
You’re so used to doing something without thinking that suddenly you have to retrain this completely automatic habit.
Then you live there long enough, and it becomes normal.
And now I’m back in America, and I can just… flush it.
It’s so funny because these are the little things nobody thinks about when they talk about living abroad.
Everyone talks about beaches and weather and cost of living and visas, but nobody tells you that at some point you’re going to have strong feelings about toilet paper disposal.
And honestly, that’s what reverse culture shock has felt like for me.
It’s not necessarily these massive, dramatic revelations. It’s dozens of tiny moments throughout the day where I’m reminded that I’m back in America.
How Living Abroad Changes Your Perspective on Home
What’s interesting is that I think living abroad has made me appreciate the US more in some ways while also making me more aware of things I prefer about other countries.
And I think that’s the weird thing about living abroad for a long time. Eventually, “home” stops being this place where everything feels unquestionably normal.
You start collecting pieces of different countries.
If anything, that’s one of the biggest gifts traveling and living abroad has given me. You realize that there are a million different ways to structure everyday life.
Something isn’t automatically the best way of doing things just because it’s the way you grew up doing it.
You get to experience another culture, take the things you love from it, appreciate things about your own culture that you previously took for granted, and question things you never thought to question before.
So yes, I am currently experiencing reverse culture shock!
We’re going to be in the US for a while now, so I’m sure there are going to be so many more things I notice as we actually settle into life here again. I’m also really curious which things stop feeling weird after a few months and which things I continue comparing to Brazil.
I’d love to hear from you, especially if you’ve lived abroad and then moved back to your home country.
What gave you the biggest reverse culture shock? Was there something completely normal in your home country that suddenly seemed bizarre after living somewhere else?
And if you’re Brazilian and reading this, I would also love to know what gives YOU culture shock when you come to the United States because I’m sure there are things that don’t even register to me as unusual yet.
Living in Brazil definitely changed my perspective, and now I get to experience America again through a slightly different lens.
I’ll keep you posted as we settle back in, and I’ll see you in the next one!
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