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Traveling with a Baby From USA to England
Welcome back to the Wanderlover Podcast! I’m recording this episode from Cornwall, England. We flew here from New York last week, which was honestly an adventure in itself.
It was another almost 24-hour travel day with Baby Leven. After our flight from New York to England, we had another six-hour train ride from London Heathrow to Cornwall. Thankfully, we had a bassinet on the flight, and the baby slept most of the time. If you’re curious about the specifics of travelling with a baby, check out Traveling With A Baby! Digital Nomad Life as a Mom.
Leven is super chill when it comes to traveling, which I’m so thankful for, but the journey is not for the faint-hearted. I’ll be honest, after 24 hours, we were very tired. We also had a lot of luggage with us because we’re heading back to Brazil at the end of the month. It was a lot, but we made it.
Diversity Within The Family
This was also Baby’s fourth flight in four months, and the United Kingdom is his third country. I am so proud of my international boy. Baby Leven is meeting his dad’s side of the family here, and it’s amazing showing him the different cultures, languages, and ways of living around the world at such an early age.
Ragz’ family here grows their own food, raises horses and bees, makes their own honey, and composts. They have a giant garden and are incredibly environmentally friendly. It’s very different from life in New York—almost like polar opposites.
This is what makes our family dynamic special; instilling in Leven that he doesn’t have to follow one path in life. There are so many ways to live, so many different people to meet, and lifestyles to explore. You don’t need to conform to just one path.
Deciding on Parenthood as a Digital Nomad
Over the past few months, I’ve had many conversations with friends and followers curious about life as a digital nomad with a baby, and life in general.
Many ask with the intention of deciding whether they want to have kids, and I know many of you listening either seek or already live a freedom-based lifestyle and wonder the same for yourselves. So this episode is a heart-to-heart if you have ever asked yourself, “Do I actually want kids?”
I can only speak from my experience and decision, but I celebrated my 32nd birthday a few weeks ago in New York, and I feel like if you are in your thirties or late twenties, the question of whether or not you want kids tends to pop up again and again.
Society is conditioned to see a woman and her biological clock, and people want answers—they want to understand your choices, which can be extremely anxiety-inducing and stressful, especially if you don’t know the answer yourself. Maybe now you’re starting to wonder.
Whatever stage you’re in, I want you to know before I dive deeper into this episode that there is no right or wrong answer here. There is only your path in life and what makes you genuinely happy.
Today, I’m going to share how I made my decision, what helped me navigate that uncertainty, and what life looks like on the other side. Bear in mind that I’m obviously biased towards one side of the kids-or-no-kids debate. However, if you are tuning into this episode and if you’ve been following me, I encourage you to dive deep into your curiosity about why you’re following my path and listening to this episode. Maybe that’s giving you a hint at your answer already.
Creating a Life Beyond Traditional Norms
Let’s start from the beginning because I truly believe my past has impacted where I stand now. Growing up, as far back as I can remember, I always had a timeline in mind: get married by 24, have my first child at 26, and my second at 28. That’s what I saw around me.
My parents are very Christian, and it was ingrained in me that I’d get married before having kids. It’s funny because my parents both work in corporate roles. As you can see, there are things I really challenged against.
I knew from the bottom of my heart I didn’t want to be in corporate, but I didn’t fight them about getting married before kids. I think that’s a sign of just trusting my gut and inner voice. That was what I always envisioned for myself—getting married, having my first, then my second.
But life happened in my twenties: I started traveling, broke up with my ex-boyfriend at 24, started building my online business, living abroad, and fell in love with a life centered on freedom. Honestly, I didn’t even think about motherhood at all because I was focused on finding a partner who shared my values, wanted to travel the world, and build a freedom-based life with me.
Deciding to Have Kids or Not: A Long-Term View
After meeting Ragz, I made it clear I wanted kids. I had a prior timeline that didn’t work out, but knowing I had a biological clock, I felt the need to get engaged, married, and have kids by a certain time. Present day, I still dislike how discussions around kids for women revolve around urgency, anxiety, and expiration dates. Yet, it’s something women need to consider.
I have many friends struggling with infertility or undergoing multiple IVF rounds, and while not everyone experiences this, it’s something we have to keep in mind. The pressure intensified once I entered my thirties.
Once you go over 30, everyone seems focused on you like a hawk. Whether you’re married or have a partner, the question is always there: Do you want kids? Are you thinking about it? How did I know I wanted kids? I approached it the same way I approached my career path.
Charting Your Own Course
When I worked in corporate finance in New York City, I looked around the floor—all the executives had rooms with windows on the perimeter of the floor. I remember thinking, okay, if I get a promotion in three years, I’ll move to my manager’s cubicle. Another promotion would get me a room without a window, and if I wanted to continue, eventually I’d get a room with a window.
I literally saw my career trajectory if I stayed on that path, and I knew that’s not what I wanted. I looked 10, 15, 20 years into the future and asked, what kind of life do I want? Who do I want around me? Where do I want to be? When I asked myself that, I looked on Instagram at influencers and online business owners traveling the world, working from co-working spaces in Bali, and in other digital nomad hubs. I knew that’s the lifestyle I wanted.
Reflecting on the Journey
Some influencers were just a few years older, others 10, 20 years older, and I knew that’s what I wanted. Just like if you asked me if I preferred ice cream or dark chocolate after dinner, I’d say ice cream because I don’t like dark chocolate. It’s that clear for me. If you asked, do you want to continue on the corporate path and end up where those executives are, or do you want to travel the world? My answer is traveling the world because I don’t like my current job (and I eventually quit). Of course, this is an oversimplification; when people ask these questions, there are so many ifs, buts, and caveats. I want you to bring it back to the simplest form: Do you want A or B? Do you prefer ice cream or dark chocolate? Everyone’s different, but I believe your gut knows what you want, and it can be as simple as day and night. So, I reverse-engineered my online freedom-based business, starting with the desired lifestyle. Remember, gratification isn’t immediate.
Finding Clarity and Purpose
Quitting my job was a scary decision. For years, I wondered if it was the worst decision because I gave up such a comfortable, cushy job to face the uncertainty of revenues and paychecks for the coming years. But I knew this was part of the process to reach where I wanted to be. It was worth it because I chose a different path that eventually gave me the life I wanted back then and now have. This whole process mirrors my approach to motherhood. The concept of reverse engineering—looking at people 10, 20 years older, married or with kids—formed my preferences. Deep down, if asked, do you want a family? Do you want children, be married without kids, or stay single? I’d choose family, just as I would choose ice cream.
Living a Freedom-Based Life
I envisioned myself as a mother, a wife, traveling the world. I admired influencers and creators who were mothers with freedom-based businesses, who traveled and surfed with their kids, brought them to business retreats. I even interviewed content creator Kelly Hill on balancing entrepreneurship and motherhood.
These people were who I wanted to emulate. It wasn’t the mainstream motherhood of strollers in the suburbs or a nine-to-five daycare narrative. I found women who created their version of motherhood, and I realized I could too. I immediately wanted that lifestyle and reality. So, if you ask yourself, in 10, 20, 30, 40 years, who do you want to be? Do you envision yourself single with kids, married with kids, married without kids, or single without kids? Reverse engineer from there.
Balancing Parenthood and Personal Travel Goals
Having your end goal in mind changes everything, it helps with current day-to-day decisions. Many I talk to question why do or don’t you want kids, and often, the response is “I can’t stand the thought of losing sleep.” That’s like making a decision based on chapter one. Lack of sleep is just the newborn phase, if that. There are ways around it, like night nurses in Brazil. But, you can’t base an entire decision on the first chapter. It’d be like wanting to be an entrepreneur but avoiding the startup phase. It’s not how it works. If you’re looking long-term, considering what having a business or child will mean in 10, 20 years, you’ll make better decisions instead of focusing on the immediate.
Looking Long Term
Understanding what you don’t want in motherhood is crucial. I got radically honest about my desires. Growing up, my immigrant parents worked nine-to-five, which meant daycare and after-school programs for me. From that experience, I knew I wanted to be present with my children. I didn’t want a corporate job or to be tied to others’ schedules, I wanted the freedom to spend time with my kids. I didn’t want to feel future resentment for not traveling when I could or not getting the ‘crazy’ out of my system in my twenties. I knew I didn’t want regret in life.
Similarly, I asked myself if I’d regret not having kids when I was older. That answer was yes. Though I love my husband Ragz, the thought of only spending my life with him didn’t excite me as much as having a family with diverse personalities. I saw my future with children as aligned, without sacrificing business or travel dreams. Core to my belief is that you can have it all by thinking outside the box, no need for this or that. Motherhood has expanded my life in unexpected, anticipated ways, providing depth, purpose, and presence I hadn’t experienced before.
I am so grateful to be able to share this journey with you, and if you are at a crossroads right now. I hope that this episode gave you some clarity and perspective, and most importantly, permission to choose your own path. I am handing you your very own permission slip. If you have any questions or would like to chat, my DMs are always open at The Wanderlover. I will see you guys in the next episode.
Have an amazing week my loves. If you found this episode helpful and listened in, don’t forget to also share it with a friend and leave a review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts!
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