8 Reflections At 28 – Ep. 41

In this episode, we talk about prioritizing happiness (06:45), taking risks (08:23), asking for help(17:20), and practicing gratitude (23:30).

Audio Transcript

(5s):
The Wanderlover Podcast was created with a mission to enable travel and freedom through entrepreneurship. I’m your host, Danielle Hu, business mentor, content creator, and founder of The Wanderlover. Tune in every week for episodes about travel online business, social media, and mindset that will inspire you to take massive action towards living the life of your dreams. Hi everyone! Welcome back to The Wanderlover Podcast. I’m your host, Danielle Hu. This is the last episode I’m recording in Hawaii. By the time it’s released, I will be quarantining in Jakarta Indonesia, but looking back on the past, what has it been?

(52s):
Five, six months on Oahu. It’s just been so life changing and I’m so grateful for the experience to have lived here. We’ll definitely be back. I’m leaving my surfboard here, my skateboard here, a bunch of stuff here. We’re leaving our truck here. So definitely have plans to come back once the whole quarantine situation and Ragz’s visa gets sorted out. I also want to announce that Anda, my new jewelry line that I started with my best friend, Annie, is launching next Monday and we’re giving our waitlist exclusive first peak and first access and first dibs.

(1m 33s):
So if you are on the waitlist, you can shop starting Thursday, July 1st and regular access will be July 5th. So if you want to see what our line looks like, what our shop looks like before anyone else make sure to sign up there is still time to do so. And you can find it in the show notes to get a secret password that will give you on July 1st. And if not, you can check out our store next Monday. We’ve put so much time and effort and love and soul into our first collection. And I’m so excited to be sharing this with you guys. It’s also a huge learning curve for me, you know, starting a business with my best friend and learning.

(2m 20s):
E-commerce all over again in a jewelry line. It’s been so fun. It’s been work, but every moment that we spend working on it, it doesn’t feel like I’m trying, you know, it’s every time we have zoom meetings, it’s catching up with a friend it’s creating something that’s so beautiful and so fun. And I feel like that’s just how I’ve always imagined business should be. And it’s totally possible that that can be your reality, investing your time and efforts into business ideas that are for you that are aligned with you and all the success will naturally gravitate your way. Okay. So last week I turned 28 and this week’s podcast episode is just going to be reflections of this past week.

(3m 6s):
So I really took time to journal, to introspect, to map out what I really wanted the next few years to look like. And I really wanted to share my reflections with you guys, because I feel like every year I get older and you don’t see a progress happening necessarily, but when you look back year after year, so much has changed, right? And it’s really important to take away these lessons that you’re learning these opportunities and all of these things that happen in your life and reflect back on those and see how you can apply the lessons you’ve learned moving forward. So, first and foremost, I think when I turned 28, did a photo shoot on my birthday.

(3m 49s):
And the first time it hit me that I’m getting older and I’m not saying 28 is old because I know in the grand scheme of things, I’m still very much in my youth, but it definitely hit me. I’m not getting any younger. And I am in my late twenties. My time is so valuable and my time is limited. So looking back on my early twenties and mid twenties, I’m so happy with the way I took risks. I lived my life. I didn’t really care about what society and other people had to say. So I’m really grateful that I was able to adopt that mindset early on.

(4m 29s):
But now when I actually put it into perspective, and this is what I tell my clients over and over again, there is no better time to start then now. So when I have conversations with people who are confused, who want to start a different path, who just don’t feel aligned, there is really no better time to start do that thing that scares you, quit your job, start a side, hustle, move to a different country. There’s really no better time than right now. Your time is limited. And I don’t mean to sound pessimistic. It’s more like motivational to try to get you to realize that you’re going to regret it.

(5m 12s):
If you have this intuition, if you have these ideas and you don’t execute on them because you’re not getting any younger, right? And the more you let it just sit in the back of your mind without actually trying, it’s only going to be more and more regretful. If you, you know, enter your thirties, enter your forties, enter your fifties, and just never tried. And to also put things into perspective, let’s say you’ve studied four years in college. You went to grad school, you have all the students that you finally land a job that pays well. And it’s like this track that you’ve followed all your life to try to accomplish. And you’re on that track, but you don’t feel fulfilled.

(5m 53s):
And you have no idea what to do because you spent literally your whole life trying to get to where you are and you realize that’s not where you want to be. It’s okay to change the course of your life, right? Like, are you going to waste the rest of your life doing something that’s not fulfilling that, you know, doesn’t make you happy because you’re trying not to waste. Like, I don’t know how old you are, but maybe like 30 years of your life, right? Like, are you going to waste and carry on the next 30 years of your life? Because you’ve invested the first 30 years into this path that doesn’t make you happy.

(6m 35s):
And I feel like society really wants you to stay on this path. They want you to work, to retire and save up for retirement. And it just doesn’t make sense. We always should be prioritizing our happiness. What makes us alive? And what makes us feel fulfilled? That is a feeling that’s just so indescribable. And I know it is possible for you. Do not let fear stop. You do not let outside factors do not let your friends, your family try to tell you what makes you happy or what should make you happy. That is something only you can answer for yourself.

(7m 16s):
And the more you practice leaning into your intuition and trusting yourself, trusting your ability to make decisions for the betterment of yourself, the more happy and fulfilled do will be. So this episode is going to be more or less kind of a motivational rant. I have down eight reflections that all have come up in the past week, but I kind of just want to talk to you guys. If you are listening to this episode and you feel lost, you feel like you don’t know what you want to do with your life. You don’t know if this is the path you want to be on, that something is missing, right? And you’re listening to this episode, trying to find ideas, trying to find direction.

(7m 57s):
This is what I’m going to tell you to get you out of that because I know what it feels like to be there. I know when you’re going into an office or going into a job you hate and you just look around and you’re like, is this it? Is this what I’m going to be doing for the rest of my life? I’m here to tell you, you have the power to change your life. Like within a year, so much can happen. The next reflection that I have written down is there is always a way your mind is so powerful and your mind plays tricks on you because so many times you’re always imagining the worst case scenario, right? Like how many times has your mind just gone on a tangent, freaked out, try to talk you out of doing something and successfully talk to you out of doing a lot of things, because it’s like, no, I think it’s going to, I’m going to become homeless or I’m not going to have any money.

(8m 51s):
And I’m going to have to sell my house and all of these worst case scenarios that usually never happened. And it’s all of these fake constructs that take your power away from you in the moment, because you’re indulging in that worst case scenario. When in reality, your life is fine. You’re not in danger. You most likely have a roof over your head and things are fine, but your mind can run off just like that. And the reality of trying to control your mind and actually putting effort into switching that off.

(9m 32s):
When you catch yourself doing that, reclaiming your power and just telling yourself like, no, this is not, what’s going to happen. My worst case scenario, most likely isn’t even going to happen. I can get through this no matter what happens in life trust that you can get through whatever situation is thrown at you. This has been proven over and over again. Every time I take a risk, every time my clients take risks, it’s so much anxiety because they don’t know what’s going to happen. Your mind just automatically assumes it’s going to be the end of the world. And it’s never like that. So what I like doing is sometimes I’ll write down all of my fears and just have it in front of you in writing and laugh at it.

(10m 20s):
Like your mind is capable of imagining so many traumatic things. And once you have it in front of you, it’s like really like, is that really going to happen? And once you can start noticing when it’s just being dramatic, then you can switch to the best case scenario. Then you can see the other side of the equation because you can’t have one side without the other. So why not train your mind to constantly see the best case scenario instead of the worst? All right. The next reflection that I want to share camera, the very personal experience where this past week I had a pimple on my chin. So it wasn’t like the biggest pimple I ever had in my life, but it was pretty noticeable.

(11m 3s):
And I have the Scott habit where every time I see something on my face, I just need to pop it and I’ll try to pop it even before it’s ready. I’m sorry if that’s really gross, but it’s just like a tick that I have. And this past week I swear, the pimple would not go away and I almost became obsessive over it. Of course I concealed it. Of course I, you know, put makeup over it. So you really couldn’t tell, but I knew that it was there. I knew it was under neath, all that makeup. And it made me so incredibly self-conscious when I was talking to rags. So I, you know, all my friends, I almost needed to say to them, like, by the way I have a pimple, I know it’s there.

(11m 46s):
Please don’t look at it. I wanted to say that out loud. And then I caught myself. I was like, this is ridiculous. First of all, it’s my boyfriend. It’s all my closest friends. Second of all, even if I’m talking to a stranger, I doubt anyone’s going to notice my pimple or even think of it in a way, like in the same way that I’m currently thinking of it. I automatically think people are going to notice it because that’s all I’ve been noticing for the past week. And so taking that scenario and applying it to literally everything, every topic, every body feature, every characteristic, there’s just so many different things that people notice in other people, in situations in environments.

(12m 31s):
That the last thing they’re probably going to notice is my pimple. And so when people comment about something that you did, something that you’re doing something about you, it’s literally a projection of what is going on inside of their mind and what they are noticing at the moment. If they say something mean, if they say something negative, it’s a projection of their own insecurities, because that is what they’re noticing at the moment. And the more I talked about my pimple to rags, the more he called me out, the more he pointed out it and laughed at it and just gave me a hard time. But in reality, it really wasn’t a hard time at all. I laughed about it. I knew it would go away.

(13m 12s):
And this construct of what I was so fearful of that people would notice. It honestly played out in a way where it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Why do I care? What other people have to say about me? Why do I care about what people might notice within me? And this isn’t just about my pimple. It’s about like any other insecurity that you may have. Why is it that you feel insecure? Why is it that you’re afraid to do something or try something or act a certain way? Like, where is this fear coming from? So that’s something I really sat with this past week. I know it’s silly because it started off with like a blemish on my face, but it makes so much sense when you’re applying it to other aspects of your life in business and relationships and career in any aspect, why is it that you care so much about what other people think?

(14m 6s):
And once you realize that it really doesn’t matter, it’s your life and you have full control over what you want to do, what you can do. And you’re so powerful. That is the magic that we want to pull from. That is where creativity or confidence stems from, and this whole vibe, this whole vibe of acting in your best interest with so much faith and so much confidence that you really can’t be bothered by what other people have to say. Right. I feel like most of my life, like growing up, I was always thinking about what other people might think of me.

(14m 47s):
And I really wanted everyone to like me. And I think the older that I get, especially this year, it’s like, why do I, why does that matter? Why do I care? What other people think of me? So that is a realization that is just sitting with me and I’m going to lean into it more and more because I feel so powerful when I reclaim all of my power. So another thing going off of that, this is the next reflection. I noticed that after I quit my corporate job and started with entrepreneurship with being an influencer, not only did I care less about what other people thought of me, but also I became more excited about promoting myself and the value I have in other people’s lives.

(15m 34s):
So I became so, so, so excited. Every time I showed up on stories, every time I launched a new product, every time I promoted myself and my business. And that is the key to being an entrepreneur, knowing that you have so much value to offer to others and you are unapologetically promotional about it. So I think I’ve said this in another podcast episode, where in the beginning, when I was working in corporate, every time I had to get in front of the camera and promote myself, I would feel like a used car salesman. I didn’t really know how sales worked. I didn’t really feel comfortable with it. Anytime the word sale came up, I felt icky, but I’m finally at a point where I’m encouraging all of my clients to literally shout from the rooftops, how amazing they are, how amazing and life-changing their businesses are.

(16m 28s):
And this is the momentum that we want in our businesses. This is a momentum. Every time we go through a launch, every time we create a new product, how amazing are you and how much value do you have to share with everyone, knowing your worth and screaming it to everyone who is out there. I used to think so negatively about selling and promotion, but in essence, that is what businesses, if you can be so enthusiastic, so passionate about your own business and you’re selling, you’re inspiring or motivating people, there’s really nothing gross and negative about that. This has taken practice.

(17m 9s):
This has taken a lot of mental rewiring coming from my corporate days where I was just hiding behind a cubicle, receiving a steady paycheck, but it’s so rewarding when you fully own up to how inspiring and awesome you are. Okay. I don’t know what number I’m on, but the next reflection that I’ve really been thinking about is not having to go through life on your own, not having to do everything yourself. So when I was growing up, my parents were working like a lot and I was often at home by myself and I cared for myself and I was just very independent at an early age. I was also a perfectionist, wanted everything to be done my way.

(17m 52s):
I always got the highest grades in school and just really depended on myself. And I think I learned early on that I couldn’t really rely on others. And so this carried into my business as I wanted to do everything my way, and I wanted everything to be perfect. So you guys all know that one of my most important models that I live by is progress over perfection and done is better than perfect. So this has taken years and years of rewiring, but I’m really just seeing the benefits of not having to do it yourself. And it’s okay to ask for help.

(18m 32s):
The past few years, I’ve invested in so many coaches, so many masterminds, so many courses, and it’s freeing. It’s so relieving to know that I don’t have to do it myself and giving myself permission to not know everything and ask other people who know better than me. It’s helped my business grow tremendously. And it’s opened up so many doors. It’s opened up so many possibilities because even when we started off under our jewelry line, neither of us knew how to make jewelry. Neither of us had any experience in the jewelry industry and giving ourselves permission to not know, but knowing that we can learn, knowing that we have what it takes to make it work.

(19m 17s):
That is where you want to be coming from. You don’t want to feel self-conscious. You don’t want to feel inadequate. You have the power to create your reality and learn whatever it is that needs to be learned. So if you have perfectionist tendencies, if you’re scared of trying, because you’re afraid to fail, give yourself permission to not know and to try and fail, because you’re going to learn so much from that. I see this over and over to especially people with study careers, they are so afraid to fail and try something new. And it just breaks my heart because I know what they’re capable of. I know that if they can see the future, if they just step on this different path and compare it 10 years side by side, the mindset growth, the business growth, the lifestyle growth, like it’s just incomparable.

(20m 6s):
And the hardest part is to start and continue believing in yourself. Next reflection is life is not a race. So it’s funny because when I was in high school, one of my favorite teachers, my Spanish teacher, Senora Arrietta, she was a free spirit. And back then I knew I had wanted to go to college study economics and finance and work in finance. I had also wanted to get married at 24, have my first child at 28. I told this toast and yada yada, and she really encouraged me to think about alternatives and be open to whatever it is that life had to offer.

(20m 47s):
I did not enjoy hearing that from her at the moment, but now it makes so much sense. I’m 28. I’m not married yet, but ultimately, who is it giving us timelines with our lives? Like who is it that tells us by this age, you should be doing X, Y, and Z in order to be happy. Like, what is the ultimate goal? Is that truly for your happiness, is that timeline seriously going to make every single person happy. And once you free yourself from all of these social constructs and realize that you are on your own unique path, all of the ups and all of the downs are going to make so much sense for you.

(21m 33s):
And I feel like that was just such a big takeaway from this past week. I was just so aware that everything wasn’t happening to me, it was happening for me and you too. Right? I wonder if you can relate to me when I say that, sometimes you feel pressured to have accomplished a certain thing by a certain age, or you have in your mind that you must accomplish this next milestone by a certain age. Do you feel that? And if you do ask yourself, is that necessary? Like why put all this pressure on yourself to make something happen that you might not necessarily even want? Where is all this negativity and friction and pressure coming from?

(22m 17s):
Once you start analyzing how you are self sabotaging yourself and giving your self permission to just go with the flow, try something new. I promise you so many great things are going to happen when you come from a place of self-love of confidence and not giving a fuck. What other people think be unapologetic about your dreams, be unapologetic about what it is that you want. You can have everything that you want. I have on my vision board that I want to hit a million dollars by 30. I know that’s going to happen. And I also know that that’s going to happen while I am traveling while I’m building a location, independent business, while I’m working on a second business with my friend and traveling with my future husband and just everything that you can possibly imagine for yourself, you can accomplish it.

(23m 11s):
I think so many people are afraid to voice their true desires for fear of seeming selfish or thinking that it might not happen thinking they’re not capable and just having so many limiting beliefs and limiting external factors around it. And it’s my job to show you first and foremost, that it is possible and that you can do it. Okay. And my last reflection is always, always, always be grateful. There is always something to be grateful for. And once you focus your thoughts on the things that are attractive in your life, that things that are going right, the more things are going to go, right?

(23m 55s):
So I noticed this because rags and I, we have completely different driving styles. I’m kind of oblivious when people are being dicks on the road, I honestly do not see what people are doing. I just kind of try to get to my destination in one piece. But on the other hand, rags is such a good driver and he will notice when other people aren’t driving up to par to his standards. And I think this just takes so much power away from him, because if someone cuts them off, if someone does something that’s just unintentional, he will get so mad and I’ve called him out on it. I just say, look, you’re being a crap magnet right now because you’re voicing how much irritation you feel towards that one person.

(24m 43s):
And like the incident is over, but you’re letting it, you’re holding onto that. You’re holding onto that negativity and it’s going to affect your driving. And I just feel like the more you focus on the bad things, the more bad things that are going to happen. Because when I drive, I don’t notice, I just talked to my friends. I listened to the radio and everything is fine. And I get to my destination and I’m not angry. I’m not irritated. I don’t notice when other people are cutting me off. I let them go in front of me. And I think that’s fine. I don’t care if they’re driving too slow. Like there’s really nothing that could piss me off on the road. And good things happen to me on the road. Driving has never been a bad experience for me.

(25m 25s):
So taking that example and bringing it back to gratitude when you’re focused on what is going right, when you’re focused on something that is not negative, the more not negative things are going to happen to you. So if you catch yourself going down a spiral where you’re like, nothing’s going right, this isn’t working. And just going down line item after line item of what is not working, I guarantee you more things are going to show up that you will realize that are not working. However, as soon as you catch yourself doing that, bring it back to gratitude, focus on what is working because law of attraction, once you focus in that direction, once all of your thoughts, your feelings, your actions, your results are in alignment with where you want to go.

(26m 13s):
You will see success. The more you focus on what is going right. All right, guys, those were my main takeaways and reflections from this past week after having turned 28, I had an amazing birthday, by the way, rags organized a surprise for me. We had balloons and cake and champagne and stayed at the surf Jack working with passion planner, one of my favorite companies. And it was just such an inviting and great way to bring in this new year. I would love to hear what you thought of this episode. And if you can resonate with any of the reflections that I’ve been thinking of a lot lately, feel free to D on me.

(26m 54s):
And if you’ve enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot posted in your stories, share it with the world’s. I’d be so grateful. Also, if you’ve been listening to the wander lover podcast for a while, and you really enjoy what I talk about, it would mean so much to me. If you could leave a review on apple podcasts, this helps Us with our charts in different parts of the world, and it just spreads. The wander, love her mission, enabling travel and freedom through entrepreneurship, to those who need it the most. I am always, always supporting you. And if you need anything, don’t hesitate to reach out, sending guys so much love, and I will see you all next.

~~~

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