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Personal Milestones as a Mom & Business Owner
Welcome back to the Wanderlover Podcast. Today is such a special day. We are celebrating a giant milestone. Leven is six months old today, which means I have been a mother for six whole months (check out my Brazil birth story here), balancing my business, balancing travel, family, and learning more about myself than I could have ever imagined.
To throw yet another life update into this already crazy year, we are about to sign a one year lease on a gorgeous three bed, three bath house across the street from our favorite beach here in Florianópolis, Brazil. It is so crazy that this is the first time I am signing a one year lease on a place.
Since living in Manhattan, and that was almost 10 years ago. And it’s also crazy to think that just last year we had no idea that we were going to even come to Brazil, have a baby here, and eventually get our citizenship. It just shows how fast life changes, how fast life moves.
And in this episode, I want to share the reflections, beautiful lessons that have come with this new unfolding chapter of life. Whether you are a new mom or an entrepreneur, or just someone who is curious about what this transition. Really looks like from within. I hope that my reflections inspire and reassure you, especially if you are going through a shift or something similar in your life as well.
Embracing Emotional Duality
First and foremost, having a baby expands you, not just physically because I was huge during my pregnancy, but I’m always talking about stepping outside comfort zones and becoming a parent forces you out of your own limits. So the emotions, the mental expansion, the highs. Unconditional love watching your baby grow bonding moments, so many instances where you didn’t realize you were capable of such profound love.
On the other hand, expanding you in terms of the lows, the sleep deprivation, hormones, identity shifts, trying to navigate your new life with a new human. All of these things have forced me outside of my comfort zone, whether I was prepared for it or not. I think you can read all the books that you want.
You can talk about it. You can see your friends and family go through it, but until you go through it yourself in your own beautiful way, you’re not going to really comprehend how much your life truly expands. With a child, my realization regarding emotions over the past six months is recognizing that emotions can coexist.
You can be so unbelievably happy, but overwhelmed at the same time. You can feel sadness, but also the utmost amount of pride, and both are part of the journey and this duality in life. Makes me appreciate things so much more. It makes me see life in a different lens because I recognize that it literally can be black and white, and that gives you so much freedom to pursue what it is that you want to do without having to feel guilty.
You are able to be happy, sad, you’re able to be scared and excited. Embrace the duality and embrace all of your emotions.
Freedom and Family Life
The second reflection. I am so incredibly grateful for my online business to give me the flexibility that I currently have in terms of time freedom, location freedom, financial freedom to support and care for my family the way I’ve always envisioned, and also to take an extended maternity leave. So being flexible and recognizing that when your life changes you cannot plan for what is about to come.
I thought I was going to take maternity leave for three months, but it has looked like an extended six months of slowly getting back into things, only doing things when I fully, truly have my heart in it and not forcing myself into projects that I am not ready for. Before I had a baby, I thought I was gonna get bored. I thought I was going to work through all of my projects, but lo and behold, we wanted to travel the world with our new newborn and son. And I am just so happy that both ragz and I we are able to stay home.
We both have online businesses and we can run them from wherever in the world. The lesson is in having structure, but being flexible within that structure. That has been the greatest blessing. So for example, from the beginning, we had the baby on the schedule, but then adjusting the schedule to our life, traveling with the baby, having the structure, the plans, but then adjusting it to life as a family of three.
And of course, having a freedom-based business, but then giving ourselves the flexibility to adjust as needed when a new family member comes along in business, I’ve definitely learned how to work in shorter windows, leaning into support systems, relying on my team, and also just reprioritizing what I want to invest my time, energy, and money into to make the most impact and also to feel the most fulfilled motherhood has been the ultimate teacher of going with the flow within the systems and within the structures.
Redefining Success
Next, after six months, I’ve really redefined what success looks like for me pre-baby. I‘ve always had milestones measured in income, measured in numbers, so how many countries I traveled to during the year, or how much freedom that I have with my time, my location, with my finances.
Post Baby. I have added to all of my metrics and I measure my success in terms of how present I am with my newborn, how healthy we all are as a family, and how much time I get to spend with him every single day. I am so grateful for the business that I have built that has allowed me to really be present.
For my son without having to send him off to daycare, without having to spend most of my hours away. And we get to travel and we get to spend every single day exactly how we want to as a family. My reflection in terms of success is that it is always possible to have it all, and you are able to expand your definition of success in this new chapter instead of shrinking it.
You never have to feel guilty about having it all.
I’ve also spent so much time thinking about meditating on self care and identity. Obviously, becoming a mother has been a huge, huge life change and navigating the balance between being a mother and having my identity tied to another human versus still being me. It is something that is still being written, but what I’ve recognized is the importance of postpartum self care, of doing things that truly light you up.
And doing things alone, doing things for yourself. I still go surfing. I still journal. I still move my body, and I still do the same things even before I had a child. You need to let go of feeling guilt for needing personal time. There is so much noise online of what you should be doing as a mom. What you are doing wrong.
As a mother, it is so important to tune out all of the noise and give yourself that confidence, that personal time, that self-care time, and saying no to things that take up your precious time and energy. Your identity doesn’t have to be only a mother. If you don’t want it to be all consuming, you are able to still have a separate identity.
And for me personally, that is so important because I’ve always been independent. I’ve always been someone with my own plans and ideas and desires. I still have all of those. Plus, I have all of the plans and ideas and desires. As a mother, as a wife, you cannot pour from an empty cup, and so prioritizing yourself is the best thing that you can do always.
Appreciate The Now
The last reflection, and this is one so profound, how fast time passes and how precious each moment in your life is. So reflecting back on six whole months. It flew by in the blink of an eye. Yet we did so much. We traveled to multiple continents with a baby. We ended up getting our permanent residency and now working towards our citizenship.
Our entire lives have changed. And it’s not stopping. You need to say yes to the things that light you up. You need to continue living your life despite what society, what media, what your parents are saying, and just say yes to your life. I cannot believe that it’s been half a year since becoming a mother, and I feel like if I let life slow down, if I had listened to people who didn’t believe that it was possible to do any of the things that we have done, it would not have been the best six months of my life so far. The best is always yet to come.
So at six months in, I can confidently say that motherhood has been the most rewarding journey I’ve ever been on. It has taught me so much, and I’m really excited to apply it into my business and into my teachings.
I am slowly but surely creating a beautiful community, a beautiful client base of mothers themselves in this new chapter. And if you are listening as a new mom or mom to be, I want to remind you that you do not have to choose between your dreams and your family. You can a hundred percent design a life that honors both. So if you are a mom, I want to know what has been the biggest surprise or lesson in your journey so far. And if you want to reach out, if you just want to chat, my dms are always open at The Wanderlover. I will see you guys in the next episode. I hope you all have an amazing week. Love you all.
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