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Someone please explain to me how my baby is turning one. Because I literally do not understand how that happened. I feel like I blinked and suddenly a whole year went by. (If you’re curious to hear my birth story in Rio de Janeiro – check you the blog here). It feels like just yesterday I gave birth and was learning how to hold a newborn, and now I have a baby who walks, laughs, has opinions, and somehow feels like a toddler already.
This year went by so fast, and I know everyone says that, I’m sure all you parents watching can relate, but it really does feel different when it’s your own baby. It’s true that the days are long but the years are short. I think it’s also because in the first year, babies are constantly changing and developing so fast.
There’s never a long stretch where things just stay the same. Every few weeks something is different like their schedule and personality so you’re constantly on your toes, and then when you look back on photos from just a few months ago everything is different.
How This All Started
If you’re new here, hi, I’m Danielle. I’m a content creator and online business coach. I’ve traveled all over the world running my online business and building a very location-independent lifestyle.
My husband is British, we met in Bali, and last year we had our baby boy, Leven, in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. Which still feels wild to say. He was born with three passports, and from day one, his life has been very untraditional. No one home base, flights to four continents. We’ve actually spent most of this past year abroad.
So today I just wanted to sit down and talk about what this first year of motherhood has actually been like, and what it’s been like becoming parents while living this digital nomad lifestyle.
If you’re here and you’re a mom, about to become a mom, or even just curious about what motherhood is really like outside of the norm, this is for you.
Do Things Your Own Way
So first, the biggest thing that has helped me so much this first year is tuning out all the noise and doing things my own way. There can be so much pressure to follow a certain path, or criticism when it comes to doing things differently especially when it comes to raising a child, but don’t be afraid to design a life that is best for you and your family.
I knew from the beginning that I wanted an elective cesarean in a hospital, and I got so much pushback for that. And the decision to give birth in a city neither of us have ever visited, of course lots of opinions around that as well.
And then just so many other things through the first year that people have opinions about. Tune out everything that doesn’t serve you or your family. It’s the worst in the newborn phase because as new parents you are freaking out about doing things right and self-confidence is low. But trust your instinct.
It’s not that people have ill-intentions, most of the opinions genuinely come from a place of care but it can be super draining. It’s okay to do things your own way.
Constant Change Makes You Resilient
I also didn’t realize before becoming a mom how often things change in the first year and you are just learning and adapting as you go.
Personally, I didn’t grow up with young babies or children and I really knew nothing about being a mother, and so there’s never a moment where you’re like OK I’ve mastered this.
From the number of naps they take a day to the number of bottles and then number of meals, I didn’t realize it was going to be the rest of my life, or at least foreseeable future, adapting to new schedules and routines.
For someone like me who really loves control and plans, I really had to learn to surrender to whatever the day brought. Trusting that you can learn as you go really helps you become even more resilient as a mother and person.
How Motherhood Actually Changed Me
Motherhood definitely changed me, but not in the dramatic way I thought it would. I didn’t suddenly stop caring about my business or my goals and I didn’t lose who I was before. But my priorities definitely shifted.
Time feels more important now. and I am just so grateful that Ragz and I both get to be home, thankful for my online business that allows me to spend time with Leven as I really notice how fast days go by.
And I’m way more aware of how I spend my energy. Things that used to feel urgent don’t always feel that important anymore, I also realized pretty quickly that I just don’t have the same capacity I had before, and that was hard for me to accept at first. You have to say no to so many more things, and once you have your new normal it becomes a lot easier.
The Emotional Side of the First Year
And going off of that, I know people say it all the time, but your entire life changes when you have kids. And before actually having a kid, you’re like oh yes it’s going to change, but you don’t fully grasp how until it happens. (If you’re wondering if Motherhood is for you, here’s what helped me decide.)
I want to say this clearly because I know a lot of moms feel weird admitting it, but you are totally allowed to miss parts of your old life and still love being a mom. Those things are not opposites.
I definitely missed my spontaneity and the ability to party until 5am, not that I had done that in years but the option to if I wanted to. I miss being able to just decide to do something without thinking through naps, food, timing, and logistics.
That doesn’t mean I want my old life back. It just means life is different now and there was definitely an adjustment period.
And because of this adjustment period where you’re thrown into this new life without really knowing what youé doing, I felt a whole new range of emotions. You can be so happy and so tired at the same time. You can love your baby so much and still feel overwhelmed. You can feel grateful and still miss your old life a little.
The emotional side of the first year caught me off guard. There were days where I felt like I was doing great, and days where I questioned everything. And I think that’s actually really normal, even though people don’t always talk about it. Motherhood adds a whole new layer to who you are.
Motherhood and My Work
A lot of people ask how motherhood affected my work and ambition. And honestly, the first few months were hard because so much of my content revolves around me and my face. I am the brand. And the last thing I wanted to do was make Leven the center of my content, although when you look through my camera roll it’s literally all of him.
The first year, I didn’t want to be in front of the camera at all, and I didn’t want anything on my calendar. It felt different taking my foot off the gas, and at first I felt guilty, but over time I realized it’s exactly why I started my online business in the first place. So I could have the freedom to spend time with my baby and stay home with him.
I still love what I do. I still care about growing my online business. But I’m way less interested in being busy all the time with calls on my calendar.
And after almost a year, I’m finally feeling the inspiration to be back in front of the camera and sharing what I’ve learned. I’m more focused on sustainable systems and doing things in a way that works with my life now.
What It’s Like Raising a Baby Abroad
Raising a baby abroad has been really interesting, and I feel like it’s the best thing we did. We have always traveled and surfed, so choosing Brazil was perfect but there are definitely pros and cons. On one hand, we are in sunshine, slower pace, more time outside, healthier food and lifestyle, living right across the beach, having childcare.
But on the other hand, you’re figuring things out in a different language and different culture while learning how to be a parent. I think the hardest part is being away from my parents because they just love Leven so much and I wish they were closer to see him more often.
But I think that’s also what’s made us really intentional about planning our future. We had to decide what works for us in this chapter, and we will see what the next chapters bring.
What This First Year Taught Me
This first year taught me that you don’t have to choose between being a mom and being yourself. You just have to let things evolve.
It taught me that your capacity changes, and that doesn’t mean something is wrong.
It taught me that presence matters more than perfection, (just like how in business, done is better than perfect) and that the small, ordinary days are actually the ones that matter the most.
Wrapping Up
Watching Leven grow this past year has been honestly unreal. It’s been the fastest, most intense year of my life in the best way.
This year stretched me, challenged me, and changed how I see time, work, and life in general. I don’t have everything figured out, and I don’t think you’re supposed to after just one year, and honestly I don’t think you ever will.
You learn to learn in real-time.
Thank you so much for being here and I’ll see you in the next episode.
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Read Next
Sharing My Controversial Pregnancy, Birth, and Travel Plans!
Navigating Marriage, Business, and Full-Time Travel as a Digital Nomad
My Birth Story in Rio de Janeiro
How to Give Birth in Brazil as a Foreigner: Everything You Need to Know
10 Lessons from 10 Weeks of Motherhood
Traveling With A Baby! Digital Nomad Life as a Family
My 3-Month Maternity Leave Recap and Insights
Wondering If Motherhood Is For You? Here’s What Helped Me Decide
Reflections From My Wales Road Trip
